


The Rose Knight

by GeminiRoseHearts



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Claude is tagged but you should know he doesnt show up until like chapter 4, Crossdressing, Eventual Romance, Just a little in the first chapter, Lorenz isnt good at talking to people his age, Lorenz: yup thats me, M/M, Slow Burn, Some background marihilda and ferdibert, Underage Drinking, Well stick around and ill tell ya!, claurenz, i bet youre wondering how i ended up like this, if there is no secret pining on both ends what is the point, morons in love...what will they do..., the ferdibert is like most hinted at
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-07
Updated: 2020-03-22
Packaged: 2020-10-11 18:08:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 22,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20550449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GeminiRoseHearts/pseuds/GeminiRoseHearts
Summary: Lorenz had a secret. A horrible, no good secret. A disgraceful, shameful secret. An absolutely embarrassing, life ending secret.He liked to dress up like anime characters.Lorenz had another secret, even worst than the first.They weren't always guy characters.As Claude ambled over to him, blissfully unaware of the rising terror in his chest, he couldn't but reflect what had led him up to this point.It all started with that stupid Halloween party.





	1. The Stupid Halloween Party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I admit it: this ship makes me weak. I don't know how popular it is, but I also wanted to write about Lorenz being socially awkward in a modern AU. He's doing his best guys....
> 
> This takes place in a modern AU where it's still technically Fodlán, but years in the future. So there's our world technology, but there's lingering traces of things like magic, Crests, and creatures like wyvern and pegasi. So don't be surprised if I make reference to those things.
> 
> Honestly dont even ask me about age stuff. Garreg Mach is like...high school and college??? I guess. Just assume it's like somewhere inbetween.
> 
> This kinda rambles on a bit before it gets to "present day" so uuuh....sorry about the summary, it might be a few chapters before I actually get into that tidbit.
> 
> I hope y'all like this anyways, and leave a kudos or comment if you do!
> 
> \- Psii

He hadn't even been enrolled into Garegg Mach Academy yet. It was the autumn of his last year before he was to head off to the academy, and there was a lot of pressure from his father to rise above his peers and effortlessly gain entry into Fódlan's most prestigious boarding school, descendent from the original Garreg Mach Officer's Academy. Naturally, Lorenz wasn't too concerned with testing, his class scores were excellent and his father could easily afford the tuition fees. No, he hadn't a thing to worry about, and yet he still found himself was a major, glaring problem.

To put it...'mildly', he didn't have any friends. It probably wasn't as pathetic as that sounded, but there hadn't really been any other way to describe his lack of acquaintances.

Looking back on it, Lorenz knew that it was his fault. Growing up in a rich family with a father who was well aware of how much richer he was than the 'lower class' had only served to raise him with a specific attitude. He still remembers the kinds of words his father drilled into his head since childhood. Always "Keep yourself above them, Lorenz" this and "You aren't here to make friends, you're here for your future" that. It's not like he knew any better, his mother had no opposing words and he scarcely was allowed to have playmates that weren't the children of business partners. They would bring their children while discussing finance and partnerships with his parents, but they were never really friends. Not the kind he really wanted, anyways. Still, he'd realized too late that no, he wasn't better than everyone because he was rich, and his attempt at keeping a distance from everyone like his father requested meant he wasn't very popular at school.

He really should've tried to unlearn that mentality, but at the time, the pressure of living up to his father's expectations felt like it was crushing him. And so Lorenz was silent.

He saw one of his classmates sewing something. She was one of the older teens, older than the rest of them, but she was very nice. Her name was Mercedes, and Lorenz didn't usually talk to her ever since a very awkward encounter were he had accidently made it sound like he was talking down to her. He didn't mean to sound like that, but his intentions always seemed to fall flat whenever he was trying to just socialize normally with people his age. He wouldn't have said anything, but he was enamoured by the costume she appeared to be sewing in their free period. It wasn't very obscure, the way he was glancing over constantly over his book to watch as she pulled the needle through the black fabric and hummed. After what must've been the seventh time of him peeking over his book, Mercedes spoke, making him jump.

"Did you want to say something, Lorenz?" He felt his cheeks burn with embarrassment, both from being caught and not having the courage to speak before she did. Her tone was soft and sweet like usual, but it had an almost...accusatory tone. He didn't really blame her, the way he treated her hadn't been particularly stellar in their last encounter. He put his book down, he hadn't really been reading it anyways.

"Ah, well...I was curious about what you were making, there. It looks lovely, but I've never really known you to wear black." _Nice one, Lorenz, you hardly even KNOW her._ Still, she laughed a little and held up the fabric. It looked like a flowing black cloak, and the thing she was sewing was some kind of red and gold insignia, with a gold lion on it. A coat of arms?

"You're right about that, I don't usually wear black. It's not for me, it's for my friend Annette. She's going to a Halloween party with me next week, and she wanted to go as a Harry Potter character. She tried to sew this patch on herself, but she hurt her finger, so I offered to do it instead." Lorenz blinked.

"A...Halloween party?" Mercedes returned to sewing.

"Yes, our friend Sylvain is hosting it. He rented a venue at a place, and everything. It's mostly our group of friends, but he said we could invite some other people we know too."

"I see...um, Mercedes?"

"Yes?"

"What...is a Halloween party?" She stopped sewing, and looked up at him with surprised eyes. He faltered a bit and backtracked, bringing his hand up to his chin, semi covering his mouth.

"I-I mean..! Of course, I know what it is, but I guess I've never been to one? Naturally, I've attended dinner gatherings and such, after all, as someone of my station would..." Oh Goddess, there he goes, defaulting back to his father's words. "...but I've always wondered what something so...festive sounding as a party would be...like?" He regretted even speaking the second he finished rambling. Without really looking at Mercedes, feeling shame in his chest, he started shoving his books into his bag.

"Oh, ignore me, that was a silly question, sorry to have asked you such a-"

"Do you want to come?" He stopped, halfway standing to leave. He looked up at her, and her face was a mixture of...something, and he had to take a second to process her words.

"...I...d-didn't you say it was Sylvain's party, for his close friends? I sort of know him, but we aren't close, it would be pretty rude of me to just barge in.."

"Well, he said we could invite anyone. And I'm inviting you, so you aren't barging in. I'll still ask him first, but I don't see why he would say no." A lump of emotion settled in his throat, and he somehow felt more embarrassed than before, but there was also a growing...happiness, in his chest. He slowly sat back down, and he couldn't stop a grin from spreading on his face. Of all things, it was pretty sad that a maybe party invitation coming from someone who just pitied the fact that he's never attended a party with people his age was filling him with this much giddiness, but Mercedes smiled back, so perhaps she knew something he didn't? She pulled out her phone, and started texting someone, saying, "I'll text him right now. It's a costume party but you don't have to dress up, I'm not going to. You'll have to find a ride, but you might be able to carpool if you ask around."

When Sylvain texted back with a 'lol ye sounds gud ;)', Mercedes gave him her phone number so she could text him the address. Their free period ended, and Lorenz had never felt more excited for anything that entire school year. There was lingering twinge of what he was going to say to his father, or how he was going to get there, but none of that really felt like it mattered.

He'd be fine.

♧♧♧

He most certainly was NOT fine. He'd caught a cab to the venue rather than have his personal driver take him. It was a building that rented out large spaces for conferences or in this case, a party room rented out to Sylvain for one night. There were tables with food and drink, some of which looked suspiciously alcoholic and two giant TVs where people were playing some kind of free-for-all fighter game and dancing game. Classmates Lorenz both knew and didn't know mingled about, drinking, eating, laughing and talking. Some people where playing what looked like beer pong in the back, and some were dancing on an improvised dance floor. Music was blasting from that section and the lights were dim.

No, he could firmly say he wasn't really that fine.

He was never one to hug a wall during a social event, but this was _different_. These were people his age, people whom he went to school with, not just some of his father's associates whom he could charm with his silver tongue. They always looked at him funny at best, and others outright glared him at worst. One might argue that speaking with full grown adults should be more frightening, but to him? He was terrified of talking to teens, even if he was one.

At least some people had complimented his costume. Admittedly, it was a last minute job, since he really wanted to fit in. Dressing like an accurate representation of Frankenstein's monster from the original book had had people guessing "Nightmare Before Christmas" most often, but he was sure the fake skin with stiches in it and the bright yellow color contacts he'd bought just yesterday should've given it away. It seems the truer, "beautiful monster" look was less popular than the "bolt in neck, ugly troll" looking movie monster. _Thanks for the limited exposure to any pop culture, dad._

Mercedes had drifted away to walk around with Annette. Lorenz had initially stuck close to her in an attempt to have at least some kind of familiar presence, but eventually he felt his lingering wasn't appreciated. He tried to break off to talk with some others, only to quickly lose Mercedes to Annette, who insisted on her joining her on the dance floor. And so, here he was, standing by the snacks table and downing his fifth cup of the apple cedar that was chilled in a tub of ice. He could taste a slightly bitter taste of alcohol, and normally he would be scandalized, but at this point, he couldn't really care. At worst, he could just eat some food and leave before anyone noticed. He didn't think Mercedes would miss him. Just when he thought he'd go outside and call another taxi, a tall someone with bright red hair decorated with a golden wreath stepped out from the crowd.

"Hey, my dude! Whatcha doin' huddled back here by yourself?" It was Sylvain, the party host himself. He was wearing a white toga it looked, and was holding a fake bow. A quiver with heart tipped arrows was strapped to his waist, along with a pair of white wings to his back. A classic cherub. Lorenz made a low noise. It was sort of a grunt and a sigh.

"Nothing. Considering if I should just leave, since I suck at talking to anyone below the age of 30." The alcohol might have made him tipsy, because he let his normal filter drop and the words just kind of spilled out of him. He looked at Sylvain's outfit, and snorted a little around the orange cupcake he was cramming into his mouth. "Cherub? Fitting, I suppose, since you do love spending all your time flirting." The man looked scandalized.

"No way, man! I'm Eros, the God of desire! You know, sexiest Greek God, all the ladies fall for him?" He pouted, brandishing the fake bow. "And what about you? You certainly look as dejected and lonesome as Frankstein's monster." Lorenz blinked in surprised, swallowing the overly sugary confection.

"How'd you know? Everybody's been asking what I am all evening."

"Oh, it's obvious! The book always said the monster had stitched body parts, but they were only the most beautiful parts Frankenstein could find, so like the monster was actually hot. Except for like, some freaky eyes."

"You read the book? Everybody only seems to know the monster from the movies."

"Well, yeah, I had to read it for English, but I actually liked it. Just like you to dress up as something all classic and obscure like that. Anyways, enough hanging out here by yourself, come play beer pong with us!" Lorenz's heart sank. Sure he knew how to play in theory, but Sylvain wanted him to embarrass himself MORE in front of his classmates? This could only go sour.

♧♧♧

"Felix, just forget it, I don't want to explain to your dad why you're tipsy-"

"No! I'm not stopping until I beat him!!"

"You've been at it for an HOUR."

As it turns out, Lorenz was pretty good at beer pong. So good, in fact, that one of Sylvain's best friends, a surly looking teen called Felix, had demanded a competition, one he was losing. Lorenz was a little buzzed himself from the apple cider, and so found himself just laughing along with everyone else and joking at the expense of Felix who was about to throw a fit and launch himself across the table.

It was fun. He was having fun! With people his own age! They were smiling at him and talking to him and, and...! He shouldn't be this excited about some teen Halloween party, but to be fair this was his FIRST teen party of any kind. A pretty looking blond, a girl who looked to be the same age as Felix named Ingrid, had smiled and said, "You know Lorenz, you aren't really that bad. I always thought you were kinda...stuck up. You're actually pretty funny!" Not sure if it was exactly a compliment, but he appreciated it none the less.

The party had started winding down from there. It was close to 2 AM, and though it wasn't a school night, he figured he'd better get home before his excuse of "oh no father, it's a late night theater event! I heard faculty from Garreg Mach were going to be there scouting talent, like the well-known Professor Manuela, so I thought I'd attend to put in a good word" wouldn't hold up anymore. It wasn't very good to begin with, but his father had been too busy to really care, and so waved him off and just told him to not wake him when he comes home. He never really cared what Lorenz did in his spare time as long as his grades were good and he wasn't 'frantinizing with common folk', kind of like how he was right now...

"Oh hey Lorenz, you leavin'?" Sylvain said from his chair. Felix had dozed off and was on the floor under his chair, with Ingrid sitting next to him. A guy with a bad haircut was sitting next to her, Dimitri Blaiddyd, who Lorenz knew was from a wealthy family. They met once or twice but never spoke much. Mercedes and Annette was sharing a chair in their little circle, and a tall imposing character who he learned was a transfer from Duscur called Dedue was sitting on Dimitri's right. Ashe, someone he knew from drama club, was also asleep leaning against Dedue's chair leg.

"Yeah, if I'm not home before 3, my dad will probably skin my beautiful hide," Lorenz mumbled, thinking that wasn't too far from the truth. "I had a lot of fun tonight, Sylvain. Thank you for letting me come, and you Mercedes, for inviting me. I don't usually get to hang out with people my age, so it was nice to just...act like a kid, for once." Dimitri gave him a look, like he understood. Given his family's wealth, he probably did know what it was like. He stood up, his whole body felt a little heavy. Might've been from exhaustion, or the small amount of alcohol he'd ingested. He pulled out his phone and called a cab, better not call his father's private chauffer in case he tattled on where Lorenz ACTUALLY had been. He said his goodbyes and went to leave, when right by the door in the venue lobby, he felt a hand catch his elbow. He looked in surprise to see Sylvain, who was smiling in a kind of mischievous way.

"Hey, you like old man literature, right?" he said, still with that impish grin. Lorenz only frowned back.

"Uh, yes, but what does that have to do with anything?"

"Well, you know the book 'Tale of the Awakening'?" He himself perk up at that.

"Oh, of course! That book is a classic, a tale of an exalt and his tactician overcoming the Fell dragon!"

"Well, there's this convention coming up. It's in like a week, and it's mostly pop and geek culture, but I heard the author was going to be there. I think they're turning the book into a film, and they got Reflet to work on it with them. I _WAS_ going to go alone, buuuuuut...well that's no fun, and none of my other friends like books like that, sooooo-"

"Oh, I see that's too b...oh, _OH!_ Yeah, uh, that sounds fun, I'd love to go with you!" Sylvain just clapped his back, and gave him a piece of paper.

"Here's my number, text me later and I'll let you know everything. Or, y'know, I'll tell you in drama club on Monday." Lorenz rolled his eyes.

"Right, like you barely show up. Too busy trying to charm some ladies." The red head just laughed, and said, "You got me there!" before going back to the party room, leaving him to wait outside alone.

By the time the taxi arrived, Lorenz was starting to come down from his buzz, and a feeling of panic rose in him. As he gave the driver his address, telling her to just drop him off at the front gate to his family's estate, it hit him what he'd done.

_Oh goddess, what do I do?? I can't go home like this, I'm a mess!!_ He hastily pulled out his phone and turned on the light to look at himself in the camera screen. He'd taken out the yellow contacts and put them away when they'd started to hurt his eyes, but the slight makeup he applied to his face was smearing. He hastily brushed out his hair, and luckily he'd had the good sense to bring make-up wipes with him. He peeled off the fake skin with stiches on his arms, stuffing them haphazardly in his pocket and pulling on a jacket specifically to hide the dirty shirt he'd been wearing as part of his costume. He looked relatively normal, save for some stains on his dark pants, but he doubted his father would notice that. When the cab pulled up to the gate, he thanked her and quickly got out, trying to calm his breathing as he punched in the code to open the gate and walked to his front door. Going through the back would seem like he was sneaking around, and so he tried to enter the house as naturally as possible. His father was probably asleep by now anyways-

"Lorenz? Is that you?" _Oh, shit._ Just when he was so sure he'd be able to get upstairs without being noticed.

"Yes, father. I apologize for disturbing you."

"No matter, I was awake anyways dealing with paperwork." His father emerged from the lit dining room (how had he not noticed the light was on?) and stopped when he saw him. His heart jumped up into his throat. _Fuck, he was going to know, I look like a mess and I'm drunk kind of and he's going to be so disappointed in me-_

"You look exhausted. Go shower and get to sleep." He heart returned to its place in his chest, maybe a little lower since his father didn't even ask how the fake event he went to was. But he was eager to just get away, so he just answered, "Yes, sir" and quickly made his way down the hall and up the stairs. He was glad for once to have his one private bathroom for his room, as he closed the door and dug out the used make-up wipes and fake skin from his pockets, tossing them in the trash. He looked into the mirror, and in the harsh bathroom light, his reflection looked haggard and tired. Despite that, he felt a warmth in his chest that seemed to spread into all of his limbs. He basically snuck out to attend a party, a party for minors where there was alcohol involved no less, and lied about where he'd been. He didn't expect it to make him feel so.._.liberated_. Even if his costume hadn't really changed him, it was like he could pretend to be someone else for a night. There was no Lorenz Hellman Gloucester, the only son and rightful heir to the House Gloucester inheritance. It was just...Lorenz. He was 15, he was apparently good at beer pong, and he had friends. He felt a smile pulled at his face, a slightly whimsical chuckle escaped him.

_I have** friends**_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like how there's no Golden Deer except Lorenz, it's all Blue Lions...I'll get there eventually, it's just because it's Sylvain's party so I was thinking it'd just be Kingdom students there. Lorenz knows Mercedes and Annette since in the game, one of them mentions he attended magic school with them in the Kingdom, so he's just attending a school in the former Kingdom territory.
> 
> I'll try to update this regularly but idk if this us even interesting, but that what the comments are for! Lmk if you guys wanna see more.
> 
> (You like how I tagged this Lorenz/Claude and Claude probably isn't even going to show up until chapter 4? Haha nice going me....)
> 
> \- Psii


	2. Lorenz Gets Confused For An UtaPri Character

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hhhhnng I'm sO SORRY about how late this is. I have Dumb of Ass disease and I kinda....started working on other stuff. I have th third chapter outlined and the 4th chapter will come soon, this just requires background!! 
> 
> "Background" meaning "Lorenz cosplays because it fills his need for validation of his identity outside of his family name" I mean. Lorenz: [John Mulaney voice] I need everyone to like me all the time and it's EXHAUSTING.
> 
> Also, you can't convince me Lorenz doesn't where collared shirt and a vest even to casual outings in a modern AU. He's just extra like that.
> 
> As always, please leave a kudos and comment if you enjoyed and I'll try to be better at updating in the future.
> 
> \- Psii

When Lorenz woke up that morning, he'd been a little more than sure that the party had all just been a glorious dream, to disappear upon waking. No way he was able to get away with sneaking out, and going to _teen party_ where there was _alcohol_ and _middle class students_, right?

  
  
When he saw the fake skin in his trash as he went to throw away the wrapper for his face mask, he nearly jumped out his skin until it sunk in that, yes, the party _did_ happen. He did go, and he had made friends. He really hoped Mercedes, Annette and Sylvain still wanted to talk to him. Call him clingy, but they felt like his first real friends, and he didn't want to screw things up now.

  
  
Oh yeah, and he had that anime convention he was supposed to go to with Sylvain in barely a week's time. Perhaps agreeing to attend an event he's never even heard of let alone been to, with a guy he only sort of knew, was an impulsive decision. Not well thought out at all, and it could only lead to any number of awkward social situations and public embarrassment.

  
  
And yet he didn't even care. While it was normally against his nature to not consider how his image appeared to others, it was far over shadowed by the rising excitement filling his stomach with giddiness. He honestly couldn't remember being this excited for something ever since, well, _forever_, really.

  
  
That's probably not a good thing.

  
  
Regardless of the quiet anxiety simmering in him, he was going to a convention with Sylvain, and he wanted to have fun. He'd have to come up with some excuse to present to his father, but he could easily say he spending a weekend working for the final show in drama club. Not that he cared enough to actually check if Lorenz was there. After cleaning up in the bathroom, and descending down the stairs to his maid calling him from breakfast, he felt a firm resolve fall into place inside him. If he was going to go, he had to know everything there was to know about conventions and what happened during them. He was going to have to purchase tickets as well, so perusing the website Sylvain had texted him would help. He couldn't disappoint him by not knowing what to do, after all, and possibly ruin any future chance of Sylvain inviting him anywhere and losing any and all respect garnered at last night's party.

  
  
Well, maybe that was an exaggeration, but it doesn't hurt to prepare for the worst.

  
  
♧♧♧

  
  
He checked his phone for what felt like the fifteenth time. It's only be three minutes since he last checked. Sylvain told him that Annette and Mercedes were tagging along too, and that the four of them were supposed to meet at 9, but Lorenz had showed up at the cafe down the street from the convention center at 7:30...just to be safe. There wasn't much he could do besides do some homework he brought with him, and sipping his tea as he stared towards the entrance of the coffee shop. He worried he was getting looks...while he did see a few oddly dressed people come and go, he wasn't even sure he had the right convention center. Logically, he knew that there was only one in this area, but what if...

  
  
_No, stop that, you're just nervous_. Obviously this was the right place, he had double and tripled checked before giving his chauffeur the address. He checked his phone again, and it read 9:05. Right on que, he heard the cafe doors open, and he looked up to see Annette walking in with Mercedes. Annette was wearing the same Harry Potter costume from the Halloween party last week, and she gave Lorenz a little wave before going to order something. Mercedes broke off from her and came straight to Lorenz's table. She was wearing her usual outfit, and she smiled at him as she took a seat.

  
  
"Hey, Lorenz. Have you been waiting long?" she asked. Lorenz quickly gathered up the papers littered across the table, feeling a little embarrassed all of a sudden.

  
  
"Oh, um, not really, I've only been here a few minutes." It wasn't a very good lie, it had been pretty obvious with the multitude of worksheets and notes scattered about that he'd been here for more than 'a few minutes'. Mercedes thankfully didn't comment, and Annette returned with her drink, handing a steaming cup to Mercedes, who thanked her. "Where is Sylvain?"

  
  
"Late, probably," Annette huffed, sipping her drink. "He didn't text me, but he's probably just getting ready now. I swear, if I miss the panel because of him..."

  
  
"Oh? Are you attending the panel for Reflet too," he inquired. He had known she was coming, but not what for. Annette beamed at him, and pulled out a book from her bag. It was an old worn copy of Tale of the Awakening.

  
  
"Yes! This has been my favorite book since I was little, and I was super happy when I heard they were gonna be making it into a movie! I have a ton of questions I'd like to ask, so I'm gonna be super pissed at Sylvain if he makes us late." He frowned, what did she mean, ask questions? Was it not going to be Reflet just talking most of the time? What was the normal conduct during anime convention panels? Before he could voice this, Sylvain strolled in, going up to order before coming to their table. He smiled at Lorenz, who gave him a nervous smile back. He made a noise as Annette slapped him with her book.

  
  
"Ah, hey! C'mon Annie, I was only like, twenty minutes late!"

  
  
"Yeah, whatever, Sylvain! Go grab your drink, and let's get going, I wanna look at merch before the panel starts."

  
  
♧♧♧

  
  
He wasn't sure what he expected. While he had followed up on his determination to research exactly what happens at an anime convention, somehow he hadn't expected everyone to be, so...

  
  
...friendly.

  
  
Not that he was under the impression that this was to be a formal event. But there was all kinds of people lingering about, some dressed casually, some in costume that Lorenz had learned was referred to as 'cosplay', and even some in truly bizarre getups that seemed to be a mixture of both. But no, everyone was smiling, people were laughing, and the atmosphere was welcoming. Even so, he'd taken to sticking close to Sylvain, since he hardly knew what to do with himself, and didn't want to get lost in the crowd. They were mingling in what he'd called 'Artist's Alley', where collections of artists and vendors sold merchandise. Annette was running around excitedly, followed closely by Mercedes, while Lorenz and Sylvain trailed behind. There was still some time before the panel with Reflet, and Annette seemed determined to buy as much merchandise as possible before then.

  
  
Something did confuse him, however. Several people had been...complimenting his 'cosplay', despite him being quite certain he was not cosplaying. What about his outfit suggested that he was cosplaying? While admittedly his white button up was a bit more fancy than he would choose for a casual outing, with fine lace donning parts of the collar and sleeves, it was hardly anything worth calling a costume. And what was wrong with his vest? The purple and black matched his tie and hair! Perhaps the red pocket square, folded like a rose, was too much, but really, it was nothing more than a casual ensemble. His father would expect nothing less, anyways, even if he did prefer drab dull colors.

  
  
Though, looking around at the outfits of people who didn't seem to be in cosplay, perhaps he was just a tiny bit...overdressed. A girl with shaggy purple hair and a dark hoodie with the hood pulled up had come up to him, shyly holding her phone, and said she liked his 'cosplay' and asked if perhaps she could get a picture. He'd been confused, and just stared, saying, "Oh, I'm not cosplaying" dumbly before he could stop himself. She'd turned bright red and squeaked out profuse apologizes inbetween "oh, I should'nt have said anything" and "that was stupid, stupid Bernie" before scurrying away. And even though he'd done nothing wrong, he felt...bad. Sylvain had noticed the interaction and just chuckled at his expression.

  
  
"I think she thinks you're from 'Love, Love My Prince'. You kinda look like one of the idols from it." Lorenz frowned at his words. What kind of a ridiculous title was that?

  
  
"What is that? And what do you mean, idols?"

  
  
"It's this male idol anime. You know anime, yeah, japanese animation-" Lorenz stared blankly at him. Sylvain didn't comment on it. "-anyways, it's this show about a bunch of guys who are like, pop idols, but they're all super handsome and they all have like a color and 'theme'. You sorta look like the tall, mysterious one, especially in your silly prince outfit. Why'd you where something so fancy anyways, I mean, a purple vest with gold embroidered roses? A fancy frilly shirt? A custom embroidered pocket square? This is an anime convention, not the opera house. But like, so, it makes you look like that anime dude, that's why people are asking for pictures."

  
  
"..oh. I see." He didn't see. He was very clearly _NOT_ cosplaying a character, how could people make that assumption? Sylvain already had his phone out, and was typing something into the search bar. He tapped on the images tab, and showed him a blown up picture of the character, poised elegantly holding a red rose to his face.

  
  
...alright, so perhaps he did look like this character. A little. But the buttons on the vest were all wrong, and he was wearing black slacks, not white. There was a multitude of fancy gold chains decorating the character, and his hair was brushed back over his head. Still, there was a definite similarity, and with the recognition, it brought hot shame to his face. It wasn't helped by Sylvain's next words.

  
  
"I mean, some of the details are wrong, obviously since you didn't mean to cosplay, but not everybody gets all perfect. Casual cosplay happens a lot. You still look pretty close, so that girl wanted your picture anyways. Doesn't help you've got shoujo legs and a pretty anime boy face..." At this point, he was hardly listening. He had tuned out Sylvain's rambling once he said 'some of the details are wrong'. Oh Goddess, he was an _embarrassment_, wasn't he?? A disgrace to this art of cosplay! No doubt people were thinking what a lazy slob he was, deciding on _casually_ cosplaying a character. Lorenz scrambled to pull out his own phone, quickly typing down the name of the character and saving an image of him. Sylvain frowned at him, asking, "Uh, you good? You're kinda pink." He didn't have much response beyond "I'm fine, text me when the panel is starting soon" before quickly walking away, leaving behind a confused red head.

  
  
♧♧♧

  
  
He knew it was dumb. Why should he _care_ so much? Yet the idea of people- strangers, no less- thinking he was sloppy for not having a perfect cosplay made his skin crawl with discomfort. That people were looking at him, judging him. He knew deep down this was another manifestation of his own perfectionist complex developed under the pressuring eye of his father, but it still wasn't an impulse he could ignore.

And so, here he was, frantically searching the crowds for a hint of ginger hair while carrying a paper bag of...merchandise. He hadn't really been thinking when he sped away from Sylvain, remembering a vendor they'd passed by that had a collection of jewelry, chains, pocket watches and other accessories, made by hand. His logical thoughts escaped him as he carefully scrutinized the various crafts, picking out a matching pocket watch to that on the character in the picture he'd saved, and even finding a set of decorative chains similar to that on the vest. They had all been quite pricey, but he hadn't hesitated to hand over several bills over to the excited lady behind the booth, who was idly saying he was the first customer shes gotten in the past three hours. He would have to change his hair, but he didnt have hair gel, and he was still missing the correct belt and pants. Nothing a quick perusing of his own dresser, or even seeing if sneaking something out of his father's dresser couldn't fix. It would all come together and have him look exactly (if not very close) to what the purple idol looked like.

  
  
Goddess, _what_ was he _doing???_

  
  
It was twenty minutes before the panel with Reflet. Sylvain had texted him to tell him that he and Mercedes were in line to get seats, and to find Annette, as she was still in Artist's Alley with him. He was lucky to be quite tall for his age, and so he could see over most of the crowds of people. It had taken him longer than he liked to find her, as he hadn't really known where to start. But find her he did, hunched over looking at pins and prints for Tale of the Awakening done by a smiling artist sitting at her booth. He quickly approached her, tapping her shoulder and making her jump before she turned and saw it was him.

  
  
"Oh! Lorenz, hey, sorry I didn't realize it was you. Where's Mercie and Sylvain?"

  
  
"In line for the panel already, it's almost time." Her eyes widened, and she hastily pulled out her phone before letting out a little squeak.

  
  
"Oh no, you're right! I can't believe I lost track of time like that, I was so busy looking at art, dang it, dang it!" She looked at the artist, uttering a quick "sorry, I'll be back" before taking off at a quick pace that Lorenz was able to match with relative ease. He just followed her since he still wasn't familiar with the lay out of the convention center, and she led them to one of the larger panel rooms on the second floor. There wasn't a line anymore, but the doors were open, and he could see people seated inside, with an older white haired man seated on the stage upfront with two others. He flashed the attendant his badge before following Annette in. He couldn't see Mercedes or Sylvain amongst the crowd, and there weren't many seats left. He was forced to sit closer to the back with Annette next to him, but it was still close enough to see, and when the white haired male, presumably Reflet, spoke not two minutes later, he could hear him just fine.

  
  
"Hi everyone. It's good to meet you all, I'm Reflet, the author of Tale of the Awakening, and the assistant director for the movie." He passed the microphone to the blue haired man next to him.

  
  
"I'm Kuromu, I'm the actor for Chrom in the upcoming movie adaptation, and the lead director!" He passed the microphone down to the last person, a small blond lady with pigtails.

  
  
"I'm Liz, and I'll be the actor for Lissa, Chrom's sister in the movie! It's soooooo nice to see you all today!" The crowd cheered in agreement, some even clapping. Annette next to him joined in.

  
  
Right away, Lorenz realized two things. One, Reflet was much different than he expected. He was funny, casual, and charismatic. He smiled in a good natured and genuine way, and the two actors joining him were similarly friendly.

  
  
And two...the light atmosphere of the convention persisted even here. The panel was set to be an hour and a half long, ending at 12:30, and the first 30 minutes were dedicated to Reflet, Kuromu and Liz talking about some of their plans for the movie. The next hours was all questions. Many hands in the crowd were raised, and people were called on to ask questions about...everything, really. It was mostly about people's favorite scenes and if or how it would be in the movie. While Lorenz hadn't expected a lecture or seminar after feeling the aura at the convention, he certainly wasn't expecting... this. It was light and inviting, not stuffy at all. And everyone seemed be having fun. He hadn't asked anything yet, but he was having fun, too.

  
  
Annette next to him shifted in her seat for the fifth time. She's been raising her hand for quite a while, but it seemed the person passing around the cordless microphone for questions couldn't see her beyond the crowd of people. Lorenz felt a twist in his gut as another person was called, just a row in front of them, and her expression became more dampered. Her arm wavered and started to lower.

  
  
_No! Annette, you put that hand back up, or so help me!_ Of course, she couldn't hear his internal pleading, and her hand only continued to get lower and her face more disappointed. He turned to face the front, and raised his hand before he could change his mind. For once, he was thankful for his disproportionately long limbs, as the question taker made eye contact with him just as Reflet wrapped up the answer for the last question. They came right for him, in the aisle seating, and handed him the microphone. Without hesitation, he turned next to him, and forced it into Annette's hand. She looked stunned for a second, before she whisper yelled, "Wh- But you had a question!" It was picked up by the mic, barely, and the crowd was looking at them, but he just shook his head.

  
  
"You had a question, and have had one for the past hour. You came here specifically for this panel, and it would..." Be unbecoming of a man of my standing to allow- no, no stop. Don't be an prick, Lorenz. "...it wouldn't be fair. I want you to have fun too, and besides, you're very passionate about Tale of the Awakening. I know you'll have a fantastic question." He'd put less effort into concealing his voice, and the mic had picked it up just fine. Looking up, the crowd was looking at him, as was the panelists, and he froze, feeling hot with shame again. But instead of whatever terrible reaction he'd been expecting, a good portion of the crowd cheered, with the loud voice of Liz coming on over the sound system to squeal, "Awww! That's so sweet!" Annette blushed, and he wanted to apologize for embarrassing her. Before he could, Reflet spoke next with a big smile, as the crowd died down.

  
  
"That really was noble of you. Well, let's hear your question then. Your friend fought for you, after all!" Annette's face turned even more scarlet, but she was smiling too. Springing up, she spoke into the mic.

  
  
"O-okay! Um, so, in the book, there was an underlying theme of potential romantic feelings between the protagonist, Robin, and the lord, Chrom. I remember you commenting on it briefly in an interview, but I was just wondering if there was any plans to expand upon it in the movie, since the media would allow for more visual clues to the nature of their relationship." The crowd rung out with a few choruses of agreements to the question. Reflet nodded thoughtfully, responding, "Huh, that _is_ a fantastic question! You obviously know the story quite well. To answer your question-" He was cut off when Kuromu leaned into his mic and blurted out, "Oh hell yeah it's happening on screen." The crowd cheered once again, and Reflet just laughed and started to speak again, but Lorenz was only half paying attention to what he said. Notably, since Annette sat back down, and she beamed at him.

  
  
"Thanks, Lorenz," she said simply. He felt the same warm feeling he felt during the party well up inside him again. Acceptance. It felt good to just...do something because he wanted to. It wasn't about noble intentions or because 'that's how a person of his wealth would act'. It was because he wanted to, and Annette was his friend. And to be fair, she HAD had an excellent question. The room was buzzing with questions similar to her's about the book's plot, and everyone seemed more engaged than before. Annette was still smiling brightly. He almost didn't want it to end.

  
  
♧♧♧

  
  
It took the whole crowd filing out of the panel room to reunite with Sylvain and Mercedes. They'd been fortunate enough to grab seats in the front, which is why they'd effectively been invisible while they were looking for seats. Sylvain looked around, and pointed to a seating area, where there was a food vendor set up.

  
  
"Hey guys, wanna get some lunch? I'm starving." The other three nodded their agreement, and not twenty minutes later, they were all sat at one of the rickety tables with their food. Mercedes wiped the crumbs of her mouth, before looking at Lorenz. There was a gleam in her eyes.

  
  
"That was really sweet of you, raising your hand to let Annette ask a question." He felt the heat return to his cheeks from earlier, and just waved his hand dismissively.

  
  
"Oh, it was nothing! She'd just been waiting a long time, and I felt like she deserved a turn after how patient she'd been..." He stumbled out more excuses, but she just smiled at him knowingly. Didn't seem like he was fooling her, not that he'd expected to. She always was good at picking up people's true intent. Annette shoved the last of her sandwich in his mouth, barely chewing and swallowed before she blurted out, "Still! You didn't have to do that, and I hope you didn't have a question of your own." He felt himself grinning back, and just threw his head back a little, miming dramatic gesture with his hand over his face.

  
  
"Of course not! My noble head is far too busy thinking of important things, like how rich I am and how pretty my face is." He'd wondered if he laid the joke on too thick, but Annette burst out in laughter.

  
  
"Maybe you should think about how pretty long your arms are," Annette said between giggles. "I sure wish _I _had noodle limbs."

  
  
"How dare you! I'll have you know they are 100% the reason I am terrible in P.E." Despite the jab at his gangly limbs, he couldn't stop the laughter that poured out of him after he'd made that statement. Annette was practically in tears from laughing so hard, and making a motion like she was trying to mimic his aforementioned 'noodle limbs', Mercedes chuckling next to her as she looked at the two of them.

  
  
Unbeknownst to him, Sylvain was pulling out his phone. He was smiling too, but he quickly snapped a picture of the three. By the time the two had managed to calm down and take several much needed gulps of air, he'd saved and posted it, his phone discreetly back in his pocket. Sylvain turned to Lorenz, and asked, "So, what about tomorrow? I know you originally said you were just going to go for the panel, but are you going to come?" Lorenz, still a little pink in the face, stuttered a little.

  
  
"U-um, well...I did buy a two day pass, not on purpose, mind you! It was the only kind they had left, and I hadn't planned on going, but Kuromu mentioned that there was going to be a panel between a few of the actors for the movie, including Liz and the actor for Frederick. They had some interesting insight into the movie, so I believe it would be...beneficial to hear their insight, so I do think I will be coming tomorrow."_ I also must rectify my grave mistake in misrepresenting this idol character through cosplay._ That part was left unsaid, but Sylvain just gave him a sly grin. He probably wasn't fooling him just as with Mercedes, if that smirk was any indication. Instead of commenting on it, he just said "Well, same place tomorrow at the cafe, then. There's still plenty we can do. Together."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up: Lorenz Participates in Anime Chess and Roleplays Really Well. After that, the fabled fourth chapter where Claude appears. 
> 
> I swear this all comes together eventually.
> 
> \- Psii


	3. I'm Sorry About All The Fates Characters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm deceased.
> 
> God I'm sorry I died, I work in retail and holiday season is the worst. Plus Pokemon came out and I had go sink a month's worth of time into it but bitch IM BACK!!! 
> 
> I'm gonna try to be better about keeping up with this I really do wanna finish this. I'm doin it for the boys!!!
> 
> \- Psii

"Oh yeah, Mercedes and Annette couldn't come today. It's Sunday, and I guess Mercie had some kinda church thing to go to? Annette said she was going with to help out, I guess it's some kinda Serios lunch."

"A church potluck?"

"Yeah! Where they like, I dunno, eat the Goddess or something."

"That's different, and also I'm certain wording it that way counts as blasphemy."

"Eh, I wouldn't set foot in a church anyways. Pretty sure I'd burst into flames."

"Somehow, I don't doubt that."

That Sunday of the last day of con was going a lot smoother that yesterday. If not only because Lorenz was just a bit too tired to care about the small details. He'd spent the time from when he'd gotten home for dinner searching his own and even his father's closet for the needed items to spruce up his costume, plus altering some of his clothes. His sewing skills were mediocre at best, he'd only insisted on learning how as an excuse to spend time with Felicia and Flora, time away from his dad. Even given that, he thought he did a pretty decent job, and coupled with the accessories he'd bought yesterday, it pulled the whole costume together. His hair was a shade off, but it was still close enough that when he'd slicked it all back, he was a close mirror match to this prince character. He would've just explained the outfit as part of the "practice rehearsal of the play for theater" if his father had caught him leaving, but Flora figured out he was up to something, and graciously distracted his father so he could leave the house unseen. Bless her, even if Lorenz probably owed her an explanation when he got home. It was worth getting to join Sylvain at the convention center.

As he'd hoped, more people recognized him, and many more asked for pictures. Really, he'd been worried about the stitching and details for nothing, strangers actually _complimented_ him on his "personal touches". He still felt a lingering sense of disappointment at his frankly embarrassing level of accuracy and clumsy altering, though it was mostly ignored in favor of the rising joy in his chest whenever he received a compliment, or someone asked for a photo and gave him a social media page to find the picture if he so desired. Sylvain had taken obvious notice, but thankfully kept his mouth shut save for a knowing smirk. Lorenz pretended he didn't see it.

The panel was fairly early, so they hadn't had the time to linger for a bit before like yesterday. Reflet wasn't making an appearance, but Liz, Kuromu and a few other actors Lorenz hadn't seen were going over some details about the movie. He would be more engaged in what Liz was saying, but-

"You're just radiant, you know that? A real beauty."

"Heh, you're just being a big flirt."

"I'm serious! The sparkle in your eyes, the way your hair catches the light...I'm practically in love with you."

..._someone_ was being very distracting despite his attempts to whisper next to him. Lorenz wasn't about to interrupt Sylvain's flirting, he was still having a conversation and butting in would be rude, but could he _not_ chat up some girl he'd never seen before in the middle of a panel? He was almost grateful when he got up with the blonde haired girl next to him and left the room. He'd left his things behind, so he'd probably be back by the end of the panel. At least now he could hear Liz speak without hearing giggling off to his right. He felt a little nervous at being left alone, but it was only for a bit, and Sylvain would be back from...whatever he was going to do with that girl (he didn't want to think about it).

He'd be back. 

♧♧♧

'hey gonna be in the maid cafe for a bit. got invited for free ;) just hang out w/ my stuff be out in like 15 min'

He let out a deep sigh. Of course Sylvain was hoping to catch some tail, and of course he got coerced into sticking around whatever this...maid cafe was. It was just down the hall of the panel room he was just in, so Lorenz didn't have to look very far for it. But it was paid entry only, and he didn't exactly want to pay to get in just to drag Sylvain out. He could take care of himself, and he's not his babysitter. Even if sitting outside the room and watching people look at him was filling his chest with a faint sense of anxiety...

Didn't he say fifteen minutes in his text? He definitely did, he'd looked at it seven times. But it's been over an hour, and there was more people pointing at him and saying something to their friends. Are you not allowed to sit outside of room like this? Did he look funny?

_Do I look like a suspicious character? Isn't the maid cafe staffed by mostly women? Oh Goddess, they think I'm waiting for one of them, like some kind of creepy hooligan. _The logical part of him was once again being drown out by the eyes of strangers on him. He entertained the idea that they were just pointing out his costume, which made sense, but if that was the case, why were they keeping a distance? Was something wrong with him? Was he _doing_ something wrong? He'd just stood up to find someplace to wait that hopefully made him look less suspicious, when he was hit with a sound so loud he practically jumped out of his skin.

"HOI THERE, MY VIOLET COMRADE! What troubles you so deep into enemy territory?!"

Looking up at the source of the noise that practically deafened him, he spotted two blond haired boys about his age moving towards him, one at a confident march and the other trailing behind. The one marching ahead he recognized dressed as Owain from Tale of the Awakening, Lissa's future son and Chrom's nephew. The outfit was quite impressive despite it's simplicity, accurate to the chapter art in the book featuring Owain, making him feel a pang at his own feeble attempt at cosplaying. The second boy behind him wasn't wearing a costume, but was carrying several bags of what appeared to be merchandise from the artist's alley downstairs. He looked irritated behind his square glasses. The Owain cosplayer commanded his attention once again when he stopped in front of him, beaming.

"Why, you look lost, my friend!! I meant only to give my greetings and humbly ask for you to partake in memorializing our visages, but something dastardly must be causing your dark expression. Please, allow me to introduce myself! I am Odin Dark- though I am currently mimicking the identify of another- and I am humbly at your service!" The blond with the glasses scowled. 

"Odin, can you knock it off? You're going to scare everyone away if you keep doing that." He turned to him, adjusting his merchandise bags for a bit before seemingly giving up. "My name is Leo. I would offer you my hand, but my hands are full." Lorenz blinked, but tried to pull himself together to respond, putting on what he hoped was a graceful smile.

"It is of no concern. I am Lorenz...just Lorenz. I'm waiting for a friend of mine to come out of the maid cafe, but...well, it doesn't seem like he'll be returning anytime soon." Odin seemed to nod sympathetically at that. 

"Ah, yes. We, too, have lost a dear friend to that den of monochrome maidens!!" He assumed he meant the maid workers. "I offer my deepest condolences at your plight!"

"If you mean Niles, I'm not exactly surprised," Leo grumbled. "He was carrying our stuff too. I should've known he wasn't just offering to carry the bag because my hands were full. But, nevermind that, Odin, you need to stop talking to people like that! It's embarrassing, and quite frankly, you're probably coming off as a real prick."

_A real prick, huh?_ Lorenz remembers someone saying that to him, after he'd gone and made himself look stuck up by giving some grand speech about his 'status' or whatever. He felt a tug in his chest. Is he just bad to talking to people? And the theatrics are just his way of communicating? People _have_ been asking him to say lines in character (lucky for him he actually watched a couple of clips and knew some notable lines), so it wouldn't hurt to...play along. He looked at Odin.

"Nonsense, my good fellow. I am flattered and honored to be in the presence of the great hero Owain!" He bowed a little for added effect. Odin looked a little stunned for a second, and he was struck with a bolt of panic. Was that too much? But Odin practically seemed to light up another second later, and renewed his acting with added vigor.

"Ah! Finally, a man who's dark energy is matching of mine own! It is an honor, Lorenz of the violet rose, let us immortalize this moment!" Leo let out sigh.

"You don't have to indulge him. He does this to everyone. Besides Odin, we don't have time. We're going to be late for anime chess." Lorenz perked up at that. _That_ was something familiar. 

"Anime chess?"

"Yeah, we were on our way there before Odin saw you and wanted pictures. I signed up to be tactician for one side." At his expression, Leo added in. "You can come, if you want. I would hate for Odin to lose his new friend who's actually willing to put up with his ridiculousness." 

He toned out Odin's indignant "'Ridiculousness?!' How you wound me so, Lord Leo!!" to think. Sylvain didn't seem to be coming back anytime soon. And at least chess was something he knew... Chess with some new friends he met. New friends.

"I'd love to join you."

♧♧♧

Somehow in the conversation, Lorenz had missed the "anime" part of "anime chess". Thankfully the rules weren't different, just that it was a life sized board, and various cosplayers were the pieces, and he'd somehow gotten roped into being a knight piece for the white "Ylisstol" side...

Okay. In truth he had no idea what was going on. But he was Lorenz Hellman Gloucester, dammit, and some life sized chess wasn't going to scare him!

...but the audience watching him might.

"It's easy," Leo had said to him. "The tacticians will be the ones moving the pieces, you just have to move."

_That's easy for him to say._ Lorenz tried to act like he wasn't about to have a breakdown in front of a group of strangers. _He's the one moving us._ At the very least Leo was a good strategist, and was doing a good job at keeping the "Shepards", including him, alive. Odin had willingly volunteered to be a bishop, or a "mage", for the black "Grimleal" pieces, despite literally cosplaying as one of the Shepards. He'd gotten an annoyed earful from Leo for that ("My view was shrouded! I did not know the dark hue of the noir soliders that called to my equally dark soul were that of our sworn enemy, Grima!!" "It's literally the BLACK pieces Odin, what the hell were you expecting?"). He had expected the whole experience would be full of worry for his performance, that creeping sense of dread that maybe he should've never left the chair outside of the maid cafe, and the familiar isolating feeling that he did not belong. 

The dread never came. 

Not only did his fears begin to fade away the longer the game went on. On the contrary...he started to have fun. Everyone who looked at him was smiling, there was no critical eyes or tight lipped sneers anywhere. The tightness in his chest evaporated into a stray afterthought. He'd never met these people until today, and here he was, smiling and 'ooh'ing when someone mimed dying in a dramatic way and laughing. He felt like...he could belong here, if he wanted to. And oh, did he want.

Odin seemed to be thriving as well, if not a little excessively. He shouted lines from his character before every 'strike', which only deepened the frown on Leo's face and crease in his brow. Barely half the game had passed before Leo directly Lorenz over to take him down. It was quite the scene, with Odin and him quipping back and forth until Lorenz ended it by raising his hand and saying, "Die with magnificence!", and motioning like he was casting a spell. Admittedly, Virion never used magic in the original book, but he was his favorite and the audience didn't seem to care about the accuracy as they cheered at Odin's (dramatic) death. The noise and clamor sent his heart racing, and in a good way. He barely remembered the rest of the game, besides the end where he convinced Leo to sacrifice him to make the winning move. He heard shouts of "NO!" from the audience, but it was worth the smug grin on Leo's face when he moved his queen after Lorenz had removed himself from the board and said, "Checkmate." The narrator declared Ylisstol to "have triumphed over the wicked Grimleal", before breaking character to thank everyone for coming and to see them next con. A flurry of activity sprung up as the audience flooded the floor to speak to their friends that were playing or speak to the narrator. Lorenz was just planning on slinking back over to Leo and Odin, but was surprised (and perhaps a little alarmed) when several people crowded around _him_. A girl wearing a pink and white outfit with pink pigtails piped up. 

"You were so, so amazing!! I just wanted to let you know I loved watching you do that bit with Owain!"

"Oh, truly, it was nothing special.."

"It was still so good!" added a black haired girl to her left, with a white and purple dress. "You must do theater, because I could tell you know your stuff when it comes to performing. I really like your cosplay too. Love, Love My Prince is one of my favorite series!" He felt a little heat in his cheeks at the compliments. Normally he was so good at receiving them gracefully, but he found he could only stutter out a bashful, "Th-thank you..." in response. The first girl spoke up again.

"Do you have an Instagram? I'd love to see you again if you participate in another event like this." He _did_ in fact have an Instagram, despite it being sparsely used only for some posts about flowers and poetry, but he hesitated. He wanted to keep this...away from 'Lorenz Hellman Gloucester'. That's not who he was right now. That Lorenz would _never_ partake in such things. But this Lorenz, the one dressed as an anime character surrounded by other doing the same...

"I don't, but I was planning on making an account."

"Oh, okay! I'll give you my Instagram name then. Give me a follow and just let me know it's you, and I'll follow you back." Somehow, he ended up with his phone notes open and taking down the names of a few people who felt similarly to the first two girls. He was so distracted that he didn't notice when he ran right into Leo and Odin, almost literally when Leo bumped into his arm.

"Sorry- Oh, there you are. We were just about to head back to the maid cafe to see if Niles is done being a selfish jerk. Do you want to come and see if we can find your friend too?"

"Yes, that would...I would like that. Thank you." Leo must've seen him looking at the area with the board, and at the narrator. He seemed to think for a second, before saying, "You know, this coordinator does little cosplay events like this every so often. He's actually a drama teacher at a local university. I go mostly because Odin is going and the idiot can't pass the road test to get his own driver's license,-" ("HEY!! I will have you know that Odin Dark is capable of taming any beast or machine!!") "-so, if you'd like, I can let you know when he'll host the next event. It's not always at cons, and he's a little...disorganized, so they might be a little sporadic, but if you're interested..." He trailed off, waiting for a response. He felt conflicted. If there were different people there, would he have to earn their respect all over again? If his performance wasn't as impressive, would he be shamed and disgraced and never be able to show his face around again? His performance today was less than stellar (he quoted an archer's critical line and pretended to cast _magic_, for crying out loud), but that hadn't seemed to bother anyone. His gut twisted when he thought about his father, and if he knew about all this. _He would be furious if he knew. But he doesn't have to...if I just say it's a more regular theater meet up..._

"That sounds lovely," he finally said. Odin practically burst with excitement at that, and Leo shouted at him to stop talking so loud. Lorenz opened up Instagram on his phone and logged out, starting to make a new account. It's not as if his father showed up to his theater performances anyways, a little white lie couldn't hurt. He tried to quash the lingering dread in his chest.

"Well, Knight Lorenz of the violet rose, shall we set off to rescue our comrades?" 'Knight of the violet rose' huh? The violet rose knight...the rose knight. He liked that. Lorenz typed 'the_rose_knight' in the username bar. When asked to take a picture, he got Leo and Odin's attention, and the three huddled close to take a picture, Odin enthusiastically, and Leo hesitatingly. With the account set up, he followed the usernames he'd been given. As they walked back to the maid cafe, his fingers paused over the keyboard for the bio. He didn't want to type his name. This wasn't Lorenz. It was like he was pretending to be a character in a play, away from the fancy dinner parties with rich businessmen and cold handshakes. He was proud of his cosplay, and not in the way he did about being upper class, well-educated, regal mannered, none of those. As much as they were things he practiced on a daily basis, he didn't cultivate those things. They weren't _his._ But this? This was his. This belonged to him. He put together this outfit himself, he gathered the chains and jewelry, he meticulously styled his own hair and touched up on his face. This was all his effort, his work. This was...for him. Not for his father, not for his family name, for him. He was doing this because he wanted to, not because someone told him to, and it was like the crushing weight of his insecurities and the hard gaze of his father couldnt follow him here, surrounded by new friends and more free than he had been ever. Here, his name wasn't Gloucester, it wasn't even Lorenz. Here, his name was the Rose Knight, and here, he flourished. His fingers moved over the keyboard, typing into the small bio below his username.

'Call me Knight'.

♧♧♧

"I still can't believe you."

"What?? I came back, didn't I?"

"Only because I had your things and you wanted someone to cry to."

"Can you blame me? She basically tricked me! That's the last time I let a girl coerce me into footing the entire bill."

"Yes, I can blame you, and I will." Lorenz huffed, leaning back in his desk chair and crossing his arms. Sylvain complained some more, but really, Lorenz wasn't even that angry. Maybe if Sylvain had never left him in that panel room, he'd have never gotten to meet Leo and Odin. Still, Mercedes was giving Sylvain a disapproving look. Tying off her crochet scarf, she pointed a knitting needle at him in an accusatory fashion. 

"Sylvain, that was very rude. Lorenz was your guest, you shouldn't treat him like that." Before Sylvain could continue whining, Lorenz just waved his hand. 

"It's fine, honestly. If Sylvain hadn't left, I would have never met some new friends. I still managed to have fun." Mercedes gave him a warm smile. She reached over into her bag on her desk to pulled out a new ball of yarn. Annette, sat next to her, was smiling at her phone. 

"We have ten minutes left of lunch, by the way." Mercedes looked over at Annette's phone to look at the time, but caught sight of what she was grinning at. 

"Oh, Lorenz! This is the picture Sylvain took of us when we were having lunch you after the panel. You look so nice!" Lorenz got up to look at it, before frowning at Sylvain. 

"Sylvain! Why did you post that?"

"What? You looked really good. I think that's the first time I've ever seen you laugh like that." Lorenz shifted a little, hand coming up to his chin. Mercedes followed the motion with his eyes. 

"I...I still would appreciate if you did not post such things in the future. I do not look a proper gentleman when I smile with my teeth." He was looking down and away from them as he sat back down in his chair, and missed the glances exchanged between Sylvain and Mercedes. She reached over and placed a hand on his elbow, making Lorenz jump a little and meet her eyes.

"I think you look wonderful when you smile like that. You look so much younger and happier. I think you should smile like that more often." He blinked, not sure what to say. She sat back and picked up her knitting needles, and he just brushed it off with a half hearted dismissal, but his cheeks felt hot again, and he couldn't stop a small smile from reaching his lips. Sylvain leaned his chair back, balancing it on the two back legs, and folded his arms behind his head.

"Well, I know I'll be sure to make you laugh more in the future. After all," he winked and made finger guns. "I've known amongst the ladies for bringing out laughs."

"Yeah, because your flirting is such a joke." Annette grumbled, scrolling through Twitter. Sylvain made to protest, and almost fell backwards, just managing to save it by flailing his arms and make a squawk like a strangled rooster. Mercedes and Annette broke out in laughter, and Lorenz found himself smiling too. In the future, huh? So there is a next time. The thought of that filled him with warmth. He can barely remember being afraid of being alone, of having no real friends for the rest of his life. If he could be with his friends like this, then he needn't worry about his future. He could handle anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay guys I promise not to wait till 2021 to post the next chapter. Dont worry if I dont yall are allowed to send me blackmail to finish it.
> 
> Next chapter: Well this is the part that has Claude in it
> 
> \- Psii


	4. Hilda Blackmails Lorenz (Except Not Really)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I LIED CLAUDE ISN'T REALLY IN THIS CHAPTER,,,,PLEASE DON'T STONE ME.
> 
> Okay so truth is I DID have a bit planned for Claude here, but I really didn't want to make the chapter longer than it needed to be, so unfortunately, I have to postpone Claude Time once again. 
> 
> To make up for this grievance, I'm gonna try and come out with the actual con arc where we cover the summary conflict as soon as I can before the Cindered Shadows DLC comes out and sucks me into it. Claude and all the sexual confusion he brings Lorenz will appear next time on The Goddess Continually Shits On Lorenz's Life.
> 
> As always, leave a comment and kudos if you enjoyed, and I SWEAR, next chapter is Claude Hour.
> 
> \- Psii

Alright, very funny Sothis. 

So maybe he told himself that everything would be just fine "if he had his friends" and, as fate would have it, they were all going to Garreg Mach. That's great, wonderful, completed step one. 

Lorenz did not consider that Garreg Mach still organized classes into houses based on districts, and that technically, despite studying in the former Kingdom state, he was from the Alliance state. Therefore, they were in the Blue Lions, and he was...in the Golden Deer. Where he hardly knew anyone.

Failed step two. He couldn't handle this. 

That was perhaps a little dramatic. Sure, he could still see Sylvain, Mercedes, and Annette. He had one or two mixed classes with them, and Sylvain was still in drama club, and he showed up more regularly. The club only met a few times a week, and the mixed class was only once a week. The majority of his time was spent with people he hardly knew. It wasn't really a vote of confidence when he introduced himself to the class with hopes to makes friends again, only to be frozen out the second his poor social skills caught up with him. There was attempts, sure. Raphael and Ignatz were very nice, but they were already friends, and Leonie pretty much took one look at him and just _knew_ where he was from. She just didn't seem to like him no matter what he said because he was a 'stuck up rich kid'. Not like he was doing a great job convincing her to think otherwise...

He liked speaking with Marianne, even though she was painfully shy, but it was hard to not say something stupid around her. He couldnt help it, her silence made him feel like she was upset with him no matter what he did, even if he knew it wasn't true and she didn't like to talk much. Hilda was almost always glued to the side of either Marianne or Claude, and Lorenz gave up on that link when her speeches toward him slowly became more about copying his homework. Lysithea was a year under and therefore didn't attend until Lorenz was a sophomore, and while he did know her from way back when they were children and their parents would send them away to play while the adults talked about business, he hadn't seen her since then. They got along okay, even if it was mostly Lorenz coddling her and Lysithea telling him he needed to mind his own business. 

It wasn't really as bad as he remembered it, really. He still got to see his friends and the Golden Deer, while messy and chaotic, were kind and never once did he truly feel like he was not wanted. It tugged at the deep seated loneliness inside him, the one borne from birthdays spent alone and gifts left on his desk with a terse note. Garreg Mach was becoming the place he'd rather be than his lavish mansion, and more than once he found himself staying over a holiday break rather than going back to the place he hesitated to call home. If home was a feeling and not a place, then the Golden Deer would be it. Every last ridiculous one of them. Even Leonie, even Hilda, even Claude.

...that Riegan boy. Lorenz's father had asked him to keep on eye on him. Supposedly he was an Almyran prince (albiet from one line of them, and not even 10th contender for the throne), and he wanted to know why he was attending school in Fodlan if such a "luxurious lifestyle" was waiting for him in Almyra. To him, it was suspicious, and naturally, anything suspicious got passed on to him.

And so, he kept an eye on him. He was always hanging around Hilda, and he just had a look about him that screamed he was constantly up to something. If someone had gotten pranked recently, it was surely him. He decided to keep his distance for now while he evaluated Claude von Riegan the sixteenth. 

...of course he should've know he would notice Lorenz watching him. That he couldn't just watch from the side. No, he was too clever for that. Eventually, Claude started actively talking to him, and to be polite, he'd had to engage back. Claude was crafty, manipulative at times, and always the schemer. Not a day passed where he wasn't teasing him about his hair (despite his efforts to grow it out into a longer style than the unfortunate mess he had in first year), the way he talked when he started on his "a man of my standing" spiel, or his gangly limbs (even if he had grown into them at this point). Claude ran a terrible podcast where he talked about the supernatural and conspiracies about saints, and he was constantly dragging Lorenz into that complete and utter waste of time. He was insufferable, annoying, and his teeth were nice and his face was handsome when he smiled, _really_ smiled...

...and he LOVED him. At some point he had started to watch Claude too closely and he developed a crush, and it all just blew up in his face. It really took almost two years into the school to come to terms with that, no thanks to the knowledge of not being exposed to the knowledge that other types of relationships existed besides "man and woman get married and have babies and live happily ever after". And the worst part? He couldn't even be mad about it. He would try and then he'd see Claude and the fool would flash him that lopsided grin or wrap an arm around him or, or...

This was just great. The goddess had a really sick sense of humor.

That was a bit harsh. It's not as if he disliked his attraction to Claude. No, he would not even like him in the first place if he wasn't quite thoughtful and kind, and went out of his way to make Lorenz feel accepted when he felt so alone. It was like he could see right through him, so even when he bungled a sentence and it came off as sounding really asshole-ish, Claude would just tease him about it but never misunderstand him. He knew he was gone after he resigned himself to spend his last birthday at Garreg Mach alone, only to be forced into a party planned and orchestrated by Claude himself. That was when it all made sense, the way his heart would race would Claude touched him and how he'd write guilty poetry about a boy who came from the shadows of a land bathed in sunlight (disgustingly flowery, he knew). It felt like a cruel joke only because he'd accepted the impossibility of them being together. Not only would Claude have to like him back (unlikely), but his father would have to allow it (HIGHLY unlikely, literally would never happen). And as long as Lorenz lived under his roof, the fantasy of having Claude gaze upon him the way he gazed upon Claude would have to be a secret fantasy, like he was some pining commoner maiden who watches a crown prince from afar. He could still cherish his friendship with him, and that would have to be enough. The Golden Deer and his cramped dorm at Garreg Mach would not be his home if Claude hadn't made it so. 

On the topic of his dorm, the one good thing about it was he no longer was terrified of his father one day discovering all of his cosplay. He'd never gone through Lorenz's stuff, but the idea that one day, he just might decide to out of the blue without warning was enough to have him fearing for his life. The dorms weren't huge, but he never needed to store more than a few costumes at a time anyways. He'd gotten to the point where he hardly revisited old costumes, and would either sell or toss the retired ones anyways. It was still a hobby (or so he vehemently told himself), even if things have changed since he first started. Maybe his Instagram had followers in the six digits and rising, and his cosplays have gotten more professional and carefully crafted. Maybe there were a few cosplay contest trophies he'd won sitting around his dorm room somewhere, and he might have a photographer he hired and a patreon open where he takes requests for what cosplay he should do next. And maybe, just maybe, he once cosplayed a character whom he thought was a guy but turned out it was a girl, and the backlash he feared was actually praise, and now he regularly mixes up the masculine cosplays with the feminine because they were typically more fun to make and wear...

So, maybe it was a bit much for a hobby, and was slowly turning into more of a secret life. He didn't even tell people his real name when he went to conventions or events, and just asked them to call him Knight or Rose. The only reason his roommate didn't know about his hobby was because it was Linhardt, and he was 100% guaranteed to be asleep whenever Lorenz came back to dorm. His secret was safe. 

...for now.

♧♧♧

"Heyyyy Lorri! Whatcha up to?" 

_Oh great, here she comes._

"Hilda, I am doing my homework, like _some_ of us should be doing. I'm not letting you copy my-"

"Aw c'mon, it's not like that. I can't just talk with my bestest friend?"

"If you were anyone else, except maybe Claude, I wouldn't doubt that." Hilda gave him a pout but it quickly cleared away in favor of an innocent smile. _So she does want something._ Despite his words, Hilda was a good friend, and he'd still done her favors as long as they didn't involve her slacking off too much. "You clearly want a favor. At least have the decency to tell me up front instead of beating around the bush. You know me better than that."

"Alright, alright, you got me," she said, sitting in the chair next to him. "I do need a favor, but it's not like the usual stuff I ask." 

"Oh?" Well, now he was intrigued. He put his pen down and turned to give Hilda his attention. "And what kind of favor would that be?" Hilda smiled and started scrolling through her phone. 

"So I heard that you frequent conventions," A cold chill coiled up in his stomach. _Oh Goddess, please, no..._ "and you also like to cosplay," _anything but this, anyone but her, please..._ She finally turned her phone around, and gave him the killing blow. 'the_rose_knight' stared mockingly at him from the top of the page.

"I saw your Instagram. So, I was wondering if I could get a little favor." Whatever she had to say next was drowned out by the chill spilling over and seizing his limbs. This couldn't be happening. Why did SHE have to find out?? Hilda was a well-known gossip, what if she told everyone else? What if she already did? What if this reaches his father, and he'll be disgraced and shamed and thrown out onto the street to fend for himself? Maybe he should just leave before he has the chance. Where would he go? If his father knew then his relatives would, no one would take him. Would he have to get a job doing something unsavory? Would he have to get a job doing something..._unsavory??_

"Lorenz?? Lorenz!!"

"Huyh?" Hilda had him by the shoulders. Her brow was crinkled and her eyes were wide. 

"Lorenz, calm down. Come on, breathe with me." She took in a breath and he tried to match it. He didn't even realize how shaky his own breathing had gotten. _Oh dear...did I say some of those things out loud? That's embarrassing._ When he got his own breathing under control, she sat down and let go of his shoulders but still had a hand resting on his thigh. 

"There we go. Now, tell me what's up? I promise I wasn't going to tell anyone or use it as blackmail, I would never, but why is this such a big deal to you?" His ears felt very hot. His hand came up and his rested it by his chin, and he looked down at her hand on his leg.

"It's...it's nothing. I apologize for overreacting a bit." _A bit? Yeah right, you dramatic pansy._ Hilda's frown deepened. 

"Lorenz, you were on the verge of tears. That's not nothing. Come on, you can tell me, even if it seems silly, I promise I'll understand." He took in a breath. Well, no point in trying to hide it after _that_ show.

"I...yes, I cosplay. It started out as a hobby, and it still is in a way, but the magnitude of it started getting bigger and bigger. Eventually, it got a little...serious, I guess." He paused for a long time, and Hilda, bless her heart, waited for him to continue. "But my father doesn't know. I'm certain he would never approve of such a thing. Especially not since I've moved from dressing to....crossdressing, on occasion. I didn't want to give it up, so I just...hide it from him. From both my parents. I'm certain Flora and Felicia must know, but other than them the only friends I have that really know the scope of it are friends I have outside of school." She nodded, seeming to understand.

"That's why you freaked out? Because you were afraid I would tell everyone and your dad would find out?" He sighed heavily.

"It feels silly now. I know you better than that, and if I'd just explained the circumstances, you would never tell a soul. It's a secret I kept for so long, just the idea of _anyone_ in my life finding out was terrifying. I'm not even certain my father would react that badly to it, but the idea that...that he might do something other than tell me to stop..." His voice cracked on the last word and he stopped talking to breathe again. Hilda's hand was rubbing circles on his thigh, and it helped ground him in the empty classroom. 

"I had no idea. I'm sorry for bringing it up unprompted like that."

"It's alright, Hilda. There's no way you could have known." 

"I still should've asked about it first before asking for a favor, even if it was Marianne..." That got his interest.

"Wait, Marianne? What could she want from me that involves my hobby?" Hilda picked up her phone again to go back to his page. 

"Okay, first of all, I don't know how you're calling this a hobby when you have like, almost a million followers on your page. Secondly, this is for Marianne but don't feel like you have to do it or else I'm going to tell everyone. You know how much I hate people who take advantage secrets like that." She scrolled a bit through his page while talking, before eventually stopping and tapping on one of his most recent costumes, showing it to him.

"So, I'll try make this short. You know Marianne doesn't like being seen in public, and especially not at places like conventions. Well, Comic Con is coming up in about a month and there's a band that she really likes that's coming to play. Of course she doesn't wanna go because you know, but I was thinking, what if you and I went dressed up? People love matching cosplays, I mean just look at this!" The picture was one his more popular posts, where he'd taken a picture with a fan that had a matching cosplay to the series as him. He wasn't really familiar with it, some gatcha called Flame Emblemia: Legends, but Sylvain was a huge fan. "I think if you and I are there to catch all the attention, no one will pay attention to Marianne. Genius, right?" Lorenz rolled his eyes at her self congratulations, though he couldn't deny that _was_ a pretty solid plan. He and Hilda weren't exactly known for their subtly, so it could work. Although...

"If it's for Marianne, I'm willing to do it, but I'll have to set something up so it doesn't seem like I know you." Hilda just looked at him blankly. 

"What, why?"

"I don't want people to find out we know each other outside of costume."

"Is that really a big deal? I mean, what stranger is gonna tell your dad you were cosplaying at a convention?"

"Listen. To make a long story short, I can't take pictures outside my house anymore because let's just say a 'super fan' paid me a surprise visit." Hilda sucked in air between her teeth. 

"Oh, yeah okay, noted. What's your plan then?" He hummed for a bit. What could he do that didn't lead people to believe he was cosplaying with Hilda and Marianne because he knows them? He's decently popular on Instagram, and he's got a pretty loyal following, so...ah!

"I'll do a raffle. Or, a faked one, anyways. I hate to trick my followers like this, but I'll open a raffle on my patreon with the conditions that anyone randomly pulled will not only get to pick a cosplay for me to wear, but I'll spend the day with them. You just enter using your eShop Instagram, so no one can trace it back to your personal Instagram when I announce you. That's about as safe as I can play it, I think."

"That seems like an awful lot of hoops to jump through just for this."

"Those are the conditions. Do we have a deal or not?" She smiled at him broadly, and stuck out her hand.

"How do you feel about Sailor Moon?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I did mention Claude like. Second hand through Lorenz. I really hope ya'll aren't mad at me for tricking you out of Claurenz once again...this is one of those fics where once the firework DOES light after the build up lot of shit goes down all at once.
> 
> Also don't mind me casually inserting Hilda/Marianne because I love them,,,,
> 
> \- Psii


	5. Lorenz "Accidental Flirt" Gloucester

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See? I told you guys I'd get here. Fr though ngl I'm popping this out before I get invested in the Cindered Shadows DLC.
> 
> So, Happy Valentine's Day! Ya'll get to watch as Lorenz slowly makes things worse by being unable to just Talk To People Normally When He's Panicking: Electric Boogaloo. 
> 
> Also Claude here. For like a minute. But he's here!
> 
> \- Psii

If Lorenz didn’t know any better, he would’ve assumed that Hilda had decided to flake out on him. Of course it was no real consequence to him, it wasn’t like his first time cosplaying where he needed to be attached at the hip to someone to even feel comfortable leaving the safety of a cafe. It wouldn’t even be the first time they’d made plans only for Hilda to leave him waiting around for an hour before saying she couldn’t make it. No, they were both very clear on the common goal, that common goal being Marianne’s enjoyment today without having to worry about being seen by strangers.

That didn’t stop Hilda from being horrendously late to their agreed upon meet up time in front of the convention center.

_Poor Marianne...how does she put up with her?_ They weren’t in danger of missing anything, the band Marianne wanted to hear play wasn’t playing until 6 that evening, but Hilda insisted they at least show up early to attend a few panels and look at some merchandise to make the most of the day. It was Saturday, and he’d done most of his shopping the first day, but there were a few panels he wanted to attend, so he hadn’t objected. The lateness was still not excusable.

He was already attracting a lot of attention. Some fans and some not were asking for pictures and sticking around to talk about his cosplay. They, himself and Hilda, went with Sailor Moon, Lorenz as Uranus and Hilda as Neptune. Actually, it was more entirely Hilda’s idea, because “We’ll match! People really like pair cosplays”. She didn’t comment on the fact that Uranus and Neptune were, in fact, not only a pair but a couple, so he just didn’t say anything either.

He was right in the middle of a small gaggle of girls, when a car rolled up and the tardy Hilda jumped out like she wasn't an hour late. She helped Marianne, who was huddled close to herself and wearing a face mask and hat, out of the car, and he could hear her waving away her brother’s fussing with a “I know Holst, I’ll call you later, love you, bye." Once he drove away, Lorenz excused himself from the small group and walked over to them. 

“Hello, Hilda, is it? It’s nice to meet you, I look forward to spending time with you today.” He’d rehearsed it, but it was still very strange to say. He’d made it absolutely positively clear to Hilda that under no circumstances were they to act like they know each other, not even around Marianne. While he was maybe more secure in the knowledge that his friends wouldn’t judge or rat him out on how he spent his free time, the possibility that one of his followers might find out who he was through her might. He’d wouldn’t have gone through the trouble of setting up the raffle if he hadn’t been worried in the first place. He turned to Marianne, who cringed a little at him. _Just make her feel welcome._ He put on what he hoped was a gentle smile, and spoke in a softer tone.

“You must be Marianne. Hilda told me you were coming along too.” _Quick, say something nice._ “You’re just as radiant as she described.” _NOT THAT NICE!!_ He kind of wanted to curl up and die, but by some miracle, Marianne didn’t run away in tears. No, instead her cheeks went very red and she whispered, “Th...thank you, i-it’s nice to meet you too…I’m sorry, you seem so nice, I hope I don’t get in the way…” He hummed and nodded, smoothly answering while trying to ignore the holes Hilda was burning into his head with her eyes. Never thought someone dressed as an anime character with bright pink eyes would make him feel so threatened. When she spoke up, he was only lucky Marianne seemed too flustered to notice that she was grabbing Lorenz's arm considerably harder than she was her's.

"Let's all head inside, then! I'm totally ready to do some shopping!"

"You guys can just shop without me...I'll only hold you back…"

"Nonsense! Please, I would love to spend time with _both_ of you!"

♧♧♧

Despite her rampant protesting earlier, Marianne had relaxed considerably and was quietly looking at some knitted birds at an artist's stand. He hated to admit this, indeed he hated EVER admitting when Hilda was right, but her plan was working fantastically. The more and more people that stopped them for pictures, fawning over their cosplays and gushing about how much they love Lorenz's work, the less attention was being put on Marianne. She'd been reduced to carrying Hilda's bag along with her own (at her own insistence), and was blending into his tall shadow. She didn't seem to mind at all, and she even shyly said that she was having a good time. Lorenz even got a little laugh out of her when he said a particularly corny compliment, which was actually the reason Hilda was about to crush his toes as they hung back a little from where Marianne was shopping.

"Are you trying to cuck my girlfriend, Lorenz?" He hissed for her to quiet down, feeling pink in the cheeks.

"No! I swear I have no such intention-"

"Because like, listen, I get it. You're kind of really hot as a girl, like kinda MILFy in a way. As a certified lesbian, I'll give you that." The pinkness exploded into a bright red, and crawled down his neck and up to his ears. _Excuse me, a WHAT???_

"A _what?_"

"But like, I swear you're trying to flirt with her. What's up, why you home wreckin'." She was smiling at this point, so she must know he felt like a boiling kettle. Her choice of words still had him metaphorically puffing up his chest defiantly.

"I assure you, on my honor as a gentlemen and your friend, I am NOT attempting to seduce Marianne." He deflated a little, figuring he might as well explain. "You see, back when I first started cosplaying, I was playing this character who was a natural flirt and charmer. It sort of became a part of the 'Rose Knight' persona I started using at conventions, and people really seemed to like it when I turn up the charisma. Since I'm trying to pretend we aren't literally classmates, I get nervous and I lean into the act. I'll try to tone it down from now on." Hilda rolled her eyes, more amused than anything. 

"Come on, 'Rose'. I know you don't want anybody to find out about your secret, but it's just us! No reason to be nervous-"

"Heyy, Hilda, is that you I hear? Fancy meeting you here!"

Ice flooded his veins. He felt his entire body freeze up and the blood drain from his face. His entire life flashed before his eyes, from the moment that surely started his own descent down this path he could never come back from. Hilda's own face was white too, and she looked startled. They both looked around, to see the absolute worst person to be seeing Lorenz like this besides his father.

Claude Von Reigan the sixteenth. Part time podcaster to a terrible supernatural show, full time student at Garreg Mach, and house leader of the Golden Deer. 

And here he was, dressed in his archery hoodie and jeans, waving at the two of them from ten feet away like he hadn't a care in the world that he was about to destroy his life. This was, surely, the worst joke of all played on him by the Goddess, making him ponder what exactly kind of misdeeds his ancestors did to warrant him this level of divine retribution. 

Also Flayn was with him, for some reason. She was wearing the same slightly out of style dress and stockings, and was holding a disposable camera since she still owned a flip phone and her father basically refused to buy her anything more advanced than a first generation iPod touch. He was kind of weird. She ran up to them, excitement rolling off her in waves. 

"Oh! Greetings, Hilda! I am so glad to see you here as well! We have already met Sylvain and Felix here, and I was just saying how wonderful it would be if we, by chance, ran into more school mates! What luck!" Despite the palpable joy coming from Flayn, Lorenz was more focused on the deliverer of his hubris behind her. Each step Claude took in his shitty old sneakers towards him felt like it was slowly pumping venom in him, like a snake had bitten into his leg and was refusing to let go. The cold clarity his terror brought also brought the realization: _I'm in cosplay. He's coming closer, but I have a wig on, and makeup on. If I just speak carefully, like I have all day, he won't know it's me._ Another voice hissed in the back of his head. _As if. Your life is over. Even if he doesn't sell you out to the whole school, all he'll have to do is smirk at you with his stupid ferret face and you'll remember he has your life and reputation cradled in his palm. Is that even a life worth living?_ He probably would've spiraled down further into more delusional worst case scenarios if Hilda hadn't gripped his arm tightly, firm but not bruising. It convinced him to take in a breath and calm himself, just like he was backstage before a show. Claude was good, but Lorenz was better. He'd learned how to play his game since they met, and he fully intended to out match him this time. Claude would _not_ find out who he was today.

He sincerely hoped, anyways. For his sanity.

He put the mask back on as naturally as if he was slipping on a robe, flashing a small smile at the two. Flayn was excitedly asking for a picture with the two of them, and he accepted graciously. His attempts at keeping his voice soft and low enough where it didn't sound too telling as to who he was appeared to be working, because there was no change in Claude's eyes when he started speaking. Even he couldn't hide all his emotions from his face, and he'd spent quite a lot of time studying those emerald colored eyes. _I wish Hilda would smack me right now._ Claude took the picture of the three of them, and Flayn began pestering Hilda with questions and praising her costume, since Lorenz was, for all intents and purposes, a stranger to her. It was _very_ cute, or at least it would be, if that didn't mean Claude was looking at him with the intent to speak. When did he suddenly look so interested?

"So, since I won't be getting Hilda back anytime soon, who might you be? And how do you know Hilda?"

"Oh, you can call me Rose. And I actually just met with Hilda in person today. I am a professional cosplayer, and she won a raffle to spend a day with me and pick out matching costumes. I have to say, she is very good company." He voted against bringing up Marianne. He didn't want to bring any attention to her while she browsed out of the corner of his eye, even if it was just Claude. Said man hummed and nodded. 

"Yeah, she's quite the character. I would know, I'm her class leader. We both attend Garreg Mach. Heard of it?" Oh come on. Who HASN'T heard of Garreg Mach? What a ridiculous question. He felt a small prickle of annoyance rise up like it did whenever Claude said something dumb in an attempt to get a reaction out of him, but he tried to keep his voice even.

"I have! In fact," he said, then a thought shot through him. He's fishing for information! He must know, or maybe he wants to figure it out for sure? _Lie, just say um...I don't know-_ "I graduated from there. It's a lovely academy, and I do miss it sometimes." 

_Hello? HELLO?? What on earth was THAT??? How old is Rose supposed to be?_ He looked at him carefully, but no significant reaction. Maybe Claude really didn't know, because he could have easily ripped his bluff to shreds and embarrassed him right then and there. And dammit if he didn't make a habit of embarrassing him every chance he got. It was a little too optimistic to think that Claude doesn't know Lorenz is seconds away from having a meltdown, but daresay he say he's playing the game. He could match him move per move, and as the game went on, the easier it would get. He was a lover of all the fine arts, and he couldn't call himself that if he couldn't even improv. Certainly Claude didn't look like he'd caught on. His usual shit-eating grin was smaller and more casual, less like he was trying. He was standing a little closer to him than he'd like, and he kind of smelled faintly of spicy cologne. Oh, Claude was saying something. Oh, he hadn't been listening at all. _Oh Goddess, quick, change the subject. Say um, uh, talk about his...uh...hair?_ He brought a hand up, stopping himself from bringing it to his chin in an obvious tell and instead cradling his elbow in his other hand and starting to play with a loose lock of hair on his wig. A movement Claude tracked with his eyes very closely. 

"Oh my, I apologize, I didn't catch all of that. I couldn't help but notice that braid of yours." He reached out with the hand that had been playing with his hair to touch the small braid hanging from Claude's hair. Normally, he would yank on it and insist on how dumb it looked. Except that would _immediately_ blow his cover. So he twirled it around his finger...for. Some. Ungodly. Reason. "It's nicely done. It's very cute." That's it! He was dead. Claude had stiffened the second he made contact, and even pulling his hand away, he remained rigid despite attempting to appear relaxed. An 'I'm so sorry, I should have asked first, I don't know what came over me' (well he did, it was him failing to tone down the Casanova like he'd literally just promised Hilda not ten minutes ago) was halfway to his lips, when the weirdest, craziest, most impossible thing happened. 

Claude's cheeks darkened a bit. And his smile wobbled like he was embarrassed. _Was_ he...embarrassed? Was he _shy???_ 'Claude' and 'shy' did not belong in the same sentence, not even in the same room, and yet here they were, cozying up as Claude began to explain in a voice a little higher pitch than normal, "Y-yeah, it's a traditional braid we have in Almyra. If you weave colored strands into it, you can tell a life's story. The strands were too much work, but I liked the plain braid." _Was that what that was? I should've asked him sooner. I feel like an asshole for calling it stupid…_ Things were just getting weirder, and when Lorenz responded with a "Well, it's really lovely. I'd love to attempt it myself one day, if that is appropriate", his cheeks darkened a little more. It probably wasn't noticeable to the average person, but dare he say Claude was actually taking his compliment to heart? Certainly on the surface he was as cool as ever, brushing it off and saying, "Yeah it's not exclusive to Almyrans. You could totally do it if you wanted." But the redness in his ears and the hand he ran through his hair told a different story. His embarrassment didn't bring him much satisfaction, not since it had been caused by his awkward banter turned vague flirting. He said he could play the game, but this hell of his own making was starting to make him want to fold up like a collapsible lawn chair. Flayn and Hilda were mostly done talking, and the tickle at the back of his neck told him Hilda was giving him eyes and he knew _exactly_ why if she'd literally heard like _any_ part of those last few sentences. Mercifully Flayn ended his torture when she bid them goodbye and asked Claude to show her "The Room in which they Game!", and Claude waved and said a little goodbye to him very absentmindedly, allowing himself to be pulled away. He didn't even attempt to speak with Hilda before getting led away. Lorenz couldn't identify the emotion that was going off inside him like a rogue firework, and hardly had the time to examine it before Hilda clasped his arm and told Marianne to hold a table in the dining area in the back room while they went to the bathroom to "Fix our makeup!" 

_ If she laughs at me, I swear I'm going to take her off my Google Drive and let her figure out her own physics assignments. _

♧♧♧

It was really mortifying that this wasn't even the first time he'd had a mental breakdown in the bathroom. He was only thankful that this one seemed devoid of people except for them, because he didn't know if he could handle more people looking at him as he leaned against the bathroom counter with his face in his hands. Hilda had been gracious enough to not immediately say anything, but he knew she was going to ask. As if his already wounded pride could take another blow. He practically cringed in on himself when she finally did speak.

"So uh...what was all that?"

"I don't know! I saw him and I started to think if I didn't out play him, he'd figure out it was me, so I decided the best strategy would be to lean into my Rose persona, but then I had to stop myself from snapping at him because _who hasn't heard of Garreg Mach_, and I normally call his braid stupid but I couldn't or else he'd know it was me and I was already holding it…" His voice was getting higher pitched with each word, he took a few breaths to remedy that. "...I panicked." Hilda, thank GODDESS, decided that perhaps teasing hin right now wouldn't be the best, and kept her mouth shut. He sighed heavily, turning to look into the mirror behind him and check his makeup. "I'm fine now. Hopefully we don't run into them again. If we do, I'm quite sure I can keep up the act. We should get back to Marianne."

"Alright, if you say so," she mumbled, and that was about all the sass he was going to get out of her it would seem. Good thing too, because he was seriously considering letting her study for their test on Monday without his notes.

_ Everything will be alright. He'll forget about all this by Monday, I'll come to school and no one will be the wiser. I'm simply panicking over nothing again. It's not as if he'll have any reason to remember me, anyways. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hilda: For how much of your shit I have to put up with you should be paying me
> 
> A 'sneak peek' to the next chapter is gonna include some thoughts from Claude's POV! Since Lorenz has really Gone And Done It Now.
> 
> Hope yall enjoyed, as always, leave a kudos or a comment!
> 
> \- Psii


	6. Not Saying Claude Is Attracted To MILFs, But...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooouuugh it’s motherfckin Claude time bay beeeee. 
> 
> You’ll all be pleased to know I am a writer with no sense of direction, I am just a himbo with an idea and a single brain cell bouncing around in my head like a DVD video player logo bouncing around on a TV screen. So if this chapter seems all over the place, congratulations! I stink at writing chapter fics. Still, I’m having fun with this one, and I love the comments I get from y’all every time I make Lorenz or Claude do something stupid. And so I will continue to do it and more.
> 
> I was thinking about writing some one shots that take place in this AU, just a couple of ideas bouncing around in my head. I might work on those to take a break on this one. Hint: ones Claurenz and the other’s Ferdibert. You can tell I have a favorite kinda of pairing.
> 
> \- Psii

To say Claude wasn’t a skeptic when it comes to romantic clichés was like if someone asked him if he’d punch Hubert for a thousand dollars. Obviously he WOULD but he’s not gonna say that out loud, for fear the subject of the theoretical punching would hear about it. Same thing.

Maybe that was a bad analogy. What he meant was he would rather punch Hubert than admit that someone (him) could, and by extension, _would_ fall in love at first sight. 

He’d be less intent on the Hubert-punching if he didn’t immediately pick up on the fact that Claude came back from the convention looking kind of, what was it? _"Looking dumber than usual."_ If it hadn’t been for the strict rules of fighting on campus, he would’ve slaughtered him. Or at least slipped some ‘Code Brown’ powder into his black coffee, but he would know for sure it was Claude, and he wasn’t keen on finding out what his darling vampire centric roomie kept on his side of the fridge labeled ‘Not Water - Do Not Consume’. 

Honestly, was a man not afforded the luxury of his own private thoughts? He forwent his usually light-hearted bantering in favor of a pointed jab about Hubert spending a lot of time down by the academy tennis courts despite sunburning easily, where a certain bright-eyed redhead practiced with the Garreg Mach Saints on Wednesdays, to throw him off while Claude escaped into his room. He would most likely be earning a cupboard empty of any and all mugs, leaving him to have his pine tea in a bowl for the next week, but that thought was far away in his consciousness as he closed his door and fell onto his bed with a loud groan.

Just as he started to contemplate sorting out the tangle of emotions he was having (scary), his phone pinged. Grateful for the distraction, he dug out it out from his pocket and rolled over unto his stomach, kicking off the shoes he hadn’t even bothered to take off and opening the text message. The relief lasted only for a second as the set of pictures downloaded, showing Hilda in her cosplay, several with an anxious Marianne. It wouldn’t have made his chest tighten and his heart pick up if one of the pictures hadn’t shown her standing with the very object of his thoughts since he left the convention center and drove himself and Flayn back to the academy grounds. The memory of the girl who’d been with Hilda, long and angular, voice deep and rasping, making him feel like a devout believer standing at the foot of a saint statue...

He quickly turned off his phone and buried his face into his pillow. How could this be happening to him? It _wasn’t_ happening to him, of course it wasn’t, because there was no way he’d fall victim to any kind of cliché, storybook or otherwise. He was a cynic at best, straight up pessimist at worst, there was no such thing as perfect romances, and yet, and _yet_…

He lifted his head and turned on the screen. He thought about asking Hilda who she was. She’d told him her name, Rose, and not much else. He didn’t even know if Hilda and her were really friends. Surely if they were, he’d know, right? Hilda loved to gossip about anything and everything, so surely she’d tell him about being friends with this mysterious tall woman…

He was a little intrigued, nothing else. So what, he thought she was pretty. He barely even _knew_ her. For all he knew, she had a terrible personality, and only seemed nice on the surface. He knew all about people who pretended to be nice, only to show their true colors in private. He’ll just bury himself in his homework, go get Flayn’s camera roll developed tomorrow (seriously, what CENTURY does her dad live in??), and go to class on Monday. He’s seen lots of pretty faces, and he was always over them by the next day. It didn’t mean anything. He saved the picture with Rose in his camera roll, but he saved all the other ones of Hilda too. None of this meant anything.

♧♧♧

Ah, so this is how the goddess likes to play jokes. _Oho, you met this girl once and you thought she was cute?? Maybe she was flirting with you, but you tried to brush it off because you don’t wanna admit that you might’ve developed a crush on a person you just met??? What if your horny teenager mind conjured up some weird fever dream where you’re sandwiched between her and the other person you’ve been crushing on for the past two-ish years?? Wouldn’t that just be a riot???_ He didn’t even _believe_ in Fodlan’s goddess. What kind of divine comedy did he live in where another religion’s goddess was playing him for a fool?

He barely reacted when Professor Eisner whipped an eraser at him. It bounced off his forehead and landed on Leonie’s desk beside him. He looked up from the paragraph he’d been staring at for the past hour without taking anything in past the first sentence of ‘In late Red Wolf Moon, the Empire’s army…’

“Claude,” he said, his voice calm and soft for someone who just threw a piece of rubber at him, “Are you feeling alright? This is the third time I’ve asked you to read the selection in the book without any response. Do I need to send you to Manuela?” Despite the clipped choice in words, Claude could tell he was genuinely concerned. He tried for a disarming smile.

“Nah, I’m alright, Teach. Sorry, I just didn’t sleep very well last night. I’ll try to pay attention.” His frown only deepened. _Uh oh, no dice. Didn’t think I could fool him anyways. _Like a miracle sent to save him from further awkwardness, the bell rang signaling lunch. The Professor, or Byleth he reminded himself (really, he was a strange teacher, asking all his students to call him by his first name), leveled his gaze at him for a few seconds in a way that made Claude feel like he was staring right through him and into his soul, before snapping his book shut and waving to let the students know they were dismissed. A flurry of activity as everyone got up to leave drowned out the sound of his sigh, sinking down a little into his chair and hoping that maybe everyone would be too focused on grabbing a spot in line at the cafeteria to notice him. It almost worked, save for the two people he was hoping to avoid the most. Hilda got up from her seat and plopped herself down in the chair on his left. He could just tell from her face what she was going to say. He instead watched from the corner of his eyes as Lorenz got up from his seat in the front of the class and made his way over to Leonie, Raphael and Ignatz, who were all crowded by the door waiting for him. On the way, his gaze locked with Claude’s for a second, and he half expected him to say something about the eraser incident earlier. Something about him not paying attention and how disrespectful that was to Byleth, something about how not getting enough sleep wasn’t an excuse for poor focus. He was even looking forward to it, for any sense of normalcy. But no, his hair he’d grown out since they met fell to cover his face from Claude as he looked away and hurried his pace to meet the three by the door, Raphael loudly musing what they should get for lunch. It’s not like Lorenz passing up the opportunity to ridicule him was unusual, especially nowadays, but it didn’t make the squirming in his gut any less comfortable. Hilda watched the exchange and looked back at him once he was sure they were alone, Byleth having left with the flood of students to likely buy out half of the cafeteria.

“So, what’s going on?” Hilda said. Straight to the point, with her. He didn’t even have the energy to pretend like that dream wasn’t plaguing his waking hours. Not that he was going to tell her about it in detail, he’d have to write a will beforehand. He slouched further in his seat and stared up at the ceiling, before dropping his gaze back down to look at her once he’d planned his defense. 

“I had a weird dream about...someone,” he said, hoping there wasn’t too a big gap in between those words. “I’ve never dreamt about them before, and it was like a weird fever dream. I guess I just keep thinking about it.” She looked at him for a bit and then her gaze flickered to the doorway where Lorenz had just left. Fuck. Maybe she does know. He looked back up, trying to ignore the squirming in his stomach that had turned into a churning. There was a pattern on the ceiling tile that looked like a gecko.

“Why’s it bothering you so much? I’ve never known you to care so much about dreams. And don’t pretend like you’re suddenly interested in dream symbolism because you said yourself you think it’s all ‘white people nonsense’.” The pattern was next to a light, where there was a fly crawling around on it. He struggled to come up with some bullshit, but his normally brilliant mind was working at 2%. The rest of his brain cells were lost to waking up at 3 AM and being too frustrated to go back to bed. For more reasons than trying to decipher what that dream was all about. 

“It’s not like I haven’t thought of them like that before, I just...I dunno. I dunno why it just came out of nowhere like that.”

“Thought of who in what way before?” _Ah, shit. _She didn’t ask what the context was. He felt like he was stacking cards. One wrong move and it’d all come crashing down. His brain was practically a deflating balloon, all his precious intelligence was whooshing away into oblivion. He entertained the idea of just getting up and running away with the excuse that he didn’t feel good, but Hilda could just grab him and ask him later. And he would never escape her monster grip. One would never guess from looking at her she does wrestling.

“...romantically.” The pattern on the ceiling wiggled. It was a real gecko, and it dashed across the light to catch the fly buzzing around on it. He felt like that poor fly, crushed in the jaws of embarrassment. He never liked admitting things that involved his feelings, and even less so when they involved feeling things about other people. While it was reasonable to assume Hilda might already know (as much as he sincerely hoped she didn’t), he wasn’t about to admit to her that the second person in that dream and the one he’d been harboring a crush for all year was Lorenz. Thank gods Hilda didn’t immediately respond, it didn’t matter what she said, her words would’ve blown down his house of cards. He wasn’t so insecure about his feelings that her making one teasing comment on it would cripple him, but he already felt crushed by the weight of his own heart.

The fact that Lorenz was there didn’t bother him so much. He’d known he liked Lorenz since the middle of last year. Claude had thrown a surprise birthday party for him in Byleth’s classroom since Leonie told him about a conversation she’d had with him where she learned Lorenz’s dick shit father was basically never there for his birthdays, nor even sent him a gift of anything he really liked. She was the one to suggest they throw him a party so the only gift he would be getting wouldn’t be something from his maid staff who actually cared about him and an absent parent. He knew by his face when he was ushered in by Ignatz, the way he almost teared up but held it back in favor of laughing, and the way he softly thanked Claude while smiling for real with his teeth showing instead of that polite practiced curl of the lip. He was haughty at best and stand-offish at worst, his words were sharp and his eyes sharper, but he handled his friends with such care, he was passionate and always willing to learn from his mistakes and be _better_, and when he laughed without thinking he snorted through his nose. It was like everything just fell into place and Claude knew he was in love with him. Nothing and no one had sent his heart racing like that since, and he thought nothing would, not until…

Not until _her_. Rose was an anomaly, and had a presence about her, even in the ten minutes he’d met her. He felt compelled, drawn back, like that hapless fly, but this time drawn in by the sweet scent of a flower. He wanted to know more, to divulge in her secrets, a man drunk on wine who seeks for more. He may not really know her, but he wanted to know her, to discover the reason why he’d dreamt so vividly about her, finger wrapped around his braid, whispering the line that had set his whole being ablaze.

Ugh, what was _wrong_ with him. 

Well, here goes nothing.

“Hey Hilda.” Hilda stopped talking, she’d been rambling on about the convention that weekend. He’d barely registered the background noise her voice had become. “That girl you were with, Rose? Are you actually friends with her, or did you just meet her then?” She eyes narrowed, and her lips pulled into a smirk. He was honestly terrified of her right now, less by her glittery pink lip gloss and more by the possibility she could clap him with a retort that would obliterate him on the spot.

“Why do you wanna know?” He shrugged in what he hoped was a nonchalant way, but his ears felt hot. _C’mon. Act cool. You haven’t been for the past fifteen minutes._

“I didn’t think you ever showed that much interest in cosplay before? She seemed like she knew what she was doing, and I figured I knew who all your friends outside of school were, but I didn’t recognize her.”

“Well, you’re sort of right on the second guess, I did just meet her there. She’s a famous Instagram cosplayer, and she did a raffle where the winner got to pick matching cosplays for them and spend a day with her. I entered because I thought it’d be fun and Marianne wanted to go anyways, and I thought if people were all focused on her and I, Marianne would get to do her thing without being noticed much. It actually worked great, and she’s really nice.” She paused, and her smirk widened. Oh man, what now. He braced himself for that retort. 

“Do you want her Instagram name?” Okay, not so bad. _She beat me to it. Does she have to act so smug about it? It’d be weird if I said yeah, what if I just made up a reason why I need it, like uh...oh, oh yeah!_

“Actually, yeah. She was asking about my braid, and she seemed genuinely interested on how to do it, so I was thinking I could PM her this tutorial on how to do it and way to decorate it. Plus, I got Flayn’s photos developed, so maybe she’d be interested in the ones with her in it.” That last bit was really weak. Thank gods Hilda just said, “Alright, here” and showed him the page for him to search up the name, even if he didn’t like that shine in her eye. It’s not like he really thought she would talk to him, she was probably used to all kinds of creeps messaging her random crap on Instagram (not that he was creep, this was just a friendly well-meaning message!), but at least then he could convince himself these feelings were fruitless once she failed to respond to his awkward attempts at small talk and he could move on with his life. He hesitated with his finger hovering above the “follow” button. She was a great cosplayer, who knows, maybe he’ll scan her cosplays for any series he liked. He could just be a fan. That was all.

_you are now following the_rose_knight_

He looked at his watch. It was too late to go grab food and finish eating in time for his next class with Professor Hanneman. _Ah, whatever. I’ll just go eat in the dorm and pass out. Gods know I could use the sleep._

He had a few choice words for the goddess if that dream came back for round two.

♧♧♧

Lorenz heard his phone go off. He wouldn’t normally check it in mixed company, but he decided to just take a peek. He wished he hadn’t when he looked at the pop up and saw a familiar screen name, making him choke and sputter on his lunch.

_the_golden_cryptid started following you_

Ooo, he was going to throttle Hilda.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hilda gets removed from the Google Doc with all of Lorenz’s notes and has to beg around for someone else’s. She’s lucky Marianne is willing to share.
> 
> As always, leave a kudos or comment if you enjoyed, I know this doc is dragging out a lot more than I expected, but I love reading your guy’s comment and it gives me inspiration to keep writing. Thanks for sticking with it thus far, or if you’re new, I hope you’ll stay for the end. 
> 
> \- Psii


	7. You Are Both So Stupid

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oo we picking up the pace now. That is to say Hilda got the dirt on Claude now and shes about to tattle.
> 
> Ngl this fic is slowly just becoming Lorenz and Claude taking turns holding the Stupid Rock so I hope that's something yall are into!
> 
> Also just realized one of my favorite Lorenz artists was/is reading this :,) Bo if you're seeing this I love you and your art so much....
> 
> \- Psii

_ 'Hey! Its claude, hildas friend from saturday. I just wanted to send you this tutorial on how to make traditional almyran braids, if you were still interested. This ones done by an actual almyran, so it's a little more accurate in my opinion' _

_ 'Hope it helps :)' _

_ 'Hello again. Thank you, I will certainly look into the video. I appreciate you taking the time to send me this.' _

_ 'Oh np! I was pretty stoked to see you were interested tbh, not many people really care about almyran culture' _

_ 'Granted, it's a little closed off, but its nice when I get to share things from my culture' _

_ 'I would be more inclined to say Fódlan is more closed off when it comes to outside cultures, truthfully, despite its history of sticking its nose in other country's business. All that trouble of mucking up Brigid, and we didn't even have the decency to use the spices we got to season our food.' _

_ 'Lol yeah that really is how it be huh?' _

_ 'So, how did you get into cosplay?' _

The further back he read, the more Lorenz wanted to bury his head in the sand and never see Claude's face in class again. He doesn't even have the decency to be ashamed of what is essentially catfishing to a slightly different degree, because dare he say he actually LIKED these conversations with Claude. And yes, maybe he'd promised himself he'd stop responding three days ago when it first started after Claude followed him. But no, here he was, like some teenage girl in a terrible rom com, bundled up in her sheets and waiting for a response from the boy she liked. Except this was Claude, and Lorenz was walking a line thinner than Professor Seteth's patience with any boy that so much as made eye contact with Flayn. He scrolled back down. The tell tale 'typing' bubble had popped up. His chest tightened a little.

(Watching Hilda scramble about the classroom begging the other Deers for notes had been equal parts pathetic and a little humorous. He'd refused to even look at her, and with class starting, he just watched as she went from Lysithea who refused to have pity on her, to Leonie who's notes could hardly be read by the person who took them, to Ignatz and Raphael who were already halfway through their notecards and unwilling to start over. The only person who'd been willing to show her any pity was Marianne, who slid Hilda her neatly printed study sheet only two minutes before Hanneman came back with copies of their exams. She acted all butthurt after class, whining "Why did you take me off Lorri c'mon that was so not cool", to which he only held up the first message Claude had sent him. She _insisted_ she hadn't told him anything past his Instagram name, but she was not going to be let back into his physics notes at least until next week)

His phone pinged softly. He looked back up at it from his spot face down in his pillow.

_ 'Cant say ive ever read that book, but if you say it has interesting lore, i might give it a read.' _

_What the hell am I doing?_ There was the million dollar question, buzzing around his head. Why was he entertaining this conversation at this point? It wasn't...bad, in fact, it was quite lovely. For once, Claude was being perfectly civil and even _polite_, and they'd gone into deep discussion over the motives behind Lorenz's cosplaying, which led to a conversation about his first cosplay, then to his first convention, then their favorite book series and movies. The chemistry between them was honestly not too different than usual, just without the consistent sparks of light teasing thrown back and forth. It was...softer, somehow, like they were both barely wading into the dark unknown of truly becoming familiar with one another. It only made sense, if Claude didn't know who he was and Lorenz was actively trying to keep it that way. Another message lit up his phone screen, and he typed his passcode in wrong three times in his scramble to read it.

_ 'I prefer books over movies, tbh. Books just give you more information in ways movies couldnt hope to achieve unless they end up being 3 hours long.' _

_ 'And i like me some thicc lore.' _

Something heavy was settling in his chest, like a ten pound ball of iron dropped in between his ribs. It made all his limbs feel like they were also sinking into the bed. _I didn't know that about him…_

_ 'I completely agree. I do not often watch movies myself, but I believe I much prefer the textual over the visual medium. You have good tastes.' _

It was guilt. This wasn't fair to him. Claude valued many things; his albino pet lizard, his friends and classmates, his podcast. But above all, he valued his secrets. He didn't know why he felt the need to hide so much from others. It never felt the same reasons Lorenz had. _He_ hid everything that could be an imperfection, anything that nobody should see. Anything that would make his father frown, his brow furrowed, to avoid those cold words: "Lorenz...what are you doing?" Claude hid things because...he wanted to. He gives that coy smile, the one that made him look like what he imagined the impish fae from his childhood storybooks would look. He thought of the braid, and the way he called it stupid. What it ended up meaning. The weight got heavier, and he rolled into a ball, phone tucked away on his nightstand. Perhaps the information he kept tucked away was because it was easier than having to explain the story behind it. Better than the judgemental eyes and wrinkled noses. In a foreign land like Fódlan, was it any wonder he would try to fit in to avoid that?

...maybe, he and Claude weren't so different after all.

His phone buzzed, but he didn't pick it up. It was already 12, and he needed to be up for class tomorrow and make sure Linhardt didn't try sticking a whole unpackaged hot pocket in the microwave again. He closed his eyes and tried to think of something else, anything else, as he drifted off.

He dreamt of emerald eyes and sunshine. 

♧♧♧

Claude wouldn't say he was a man of routine. Sure, he would notice if things were different right away, but that was more force of habit than anything. Back in Almyra, changes were usually announced with bells and horns, seeing as not many Almyrans were partial to subtly. Heck, his dad was probably the LEAST subtle person there. No, the ability to be more shrewd in his day to day life he definitely owed to his Fódlan side. At least it was a useful skill to have, along with being able to pick up on others when something was going on. He might even say he was pretty good at reading people. Big help that skill was right now. 

Lorenz was different. And for the life of him, he could not figure out _why_.

It was honestly a little (see: REALLY) silly. For all he knew, he could've just switched his shampoo (he hadn't, he still smelled faintly of lavender and roses, and his hair was silky and shiny), or started wearing a new necklace (he wasn't, only the occasional leather cord one with painted beads their class had made one each together last year). He'd only gotten the feeling something was off in their very first class when there was no biting "Good morning, _Claude_" in response to Claude's "Mornin' Lorri", that nickname he hated anyone but Hilda using. It was just "Good morning, Claude." A sectioned off part of his hair was braided, pinned back towards his short ponytail. Maybe his shirt was new? It was just as cleanly pressed and crisp as the rest of his expensive shirts. He was still long and skinny, he still carefully lined up his highlighter, black pen, red pen, pencil and eraser left to right in that exact order on his desk, he still slapped Claude's arm when he tried to pass notes to Hilda. Everything was the same. 

_ "Good morning, Claude." _

No, that was it. His demeanor. Everything about Lorenz was sharp, his clipped words, his slanted eyes, his acute jawline. Even more so it seemed with Claude, when he pushed a little, he would push back with equal force. It was always fun to do, like seeing how far one could force a volleyball underwater at the pool. And like it, the second he let go, Lorenz would strike right back twice as hard with a retort. He never pushed it too far, or what he deemed too far. A game they played, dancing circles around each other, their conversations were. That could be giving them too much credit, but he liked their banter, and it was one of the many reasons he found himself contemplating reaching over and taking his perfectly manicured hand in his own, and telling him how he felt. He had imagined what his reaction would be if he felt the same way, even what he would do if he didn't. He felt confident in being able to read him, and to know just what to say. 

Which was why this change was maybe, to put it mildly, making him freak out a little. And it also wasn't helping his feelings. 

"Hey Lorenz, I like the braid. You do it yourself?" Lorenz seemed to jump a little, like he had forgotten Claude was seated just across from him at the cafeteria table. He quickly turned off his phone and placed it face down on the table. He met Claude's eyes only for a second, before flickering them down to his food, gathering a forkful of pasta (or, pretending to). 

"I did. Thank you, I thought something new might be nice." 

"I'm surprised, I didn't take you for the type to experiment much with your hair." There, perfect set up. A lowkey jab. _C'mon, give me something. Anything. Please._ Lorenz hummed.

"I recently learned a couple braiding techniques from a video. I thought I would try a few." He paused, like he was thinking about what to say. Then his mouth twitched, and the tenderest of smiles ghosted his lips. "I quite like this one." His heart skipped several beats. 

Softer. All the edges, a myriad of thorns, slightly worn away, giving way to the velvet petals. The angular contrast of his face, to the fond smile on his lips. Whatever had caused some of his brambles to fall away, Claude felt like he was witnessing him come forth more, carefully bloom, showing him something he'd never seen on him before. Only half of his mind was dedicated to the rest of the conversation. The thorns were still there, oh yes, it wouldn't be Lorenz if he didn't have them. But the petals remained; vulnerable, bright, and beautiful. 

_Trust_.

He didn't doubt Lorenz trusted him. He'd actually made it pretty clear way before this, once he'd deemed Claude to be of good character. This was something new, discovering a new portion of the flower he thought he had figured out. _He trusts me._ He felt his phone buzz in his pocket. He thought of her, the lady named after a flower, and his heart clenched.

_ If I could have you both...if I didn't have to choose, and feel like something was always missing...maybe there really is a Goddess then after all. _

♧♧♧

"What's holding Claude up, he's never late to food after school," Hilda pouted. "Actually, I'm surprised he didn't show up _early_, I said I was bringing empanadas. He LOVES those." Leonie looked up at her from that fat monstrosity she called a burrito. 

"Oh, didn't he tell you? He said he was just gonna head back to his dorm." Hilda frowned, sipping her boba. 

"What, he suddenly is more interested in hanging out with Hubert than us? It's not Tuesday, so no chem club." Leonie just grunted. 

"Man, I dunno, seems like his head's been up in the clouds since Monday. You know during archery practice yesterday, he _missed_ the target?? He never does that! He was staring right at it and everything. If you ask me, he's acting like he went and got lovestruck something fierce. Got that day-dreamy look about him." She sipped her tea. Since Monday, huh? Monday...what was different about Monday? _Looking lovestruck...love…_

_ "Why, you want her Instagram?" _

She choked on a boba pearl. Leonie looked at her funny and thumped her back hard enough to bruise. 

_ Holy SHIT. I gotta tell Lorenz RIGHT NOW. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lorenz: is a little nice to Claude
> 
> Claude: what the fuck? What htr fuck?? W hat the fuck?????
> 
> I'm feeling like this fic will be another maybe 4 chapters? 10 is a nice even number to wrap it up but we'll see.
> 
> Please leave a kudos or comment if you enjoyed, I try my best to respond to all my comments from you guys, and I always always read them all :)
> 
> \- Psii


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